


Just That And Nothing More

by ISeeFire



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Action & Romance, Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Did I Miss Anything?, Drama, Everybody Lives, F/M, Family, Female Bilbo, Fix-It, Fluff and Crack, Friendship, Gen, Genderbending, Genderswap, Happy Ending, I think I got it all, Rule 63, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, kilbo - Freeform, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2015-02-15
Packaged: 2018-03-13 00:10:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 24,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3360503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ISeeFire/pseuds/ISeeFire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilba Baggins is a bit shy. Okay, she's a LOT shy and when Gandalf shows up and dumps an entire Company of dwarves on her she is decidedly NOT amused.......or capable of speaking to them.....particularly the dark haired one who happens to be a PRINCE.</p><p>Thanks for that heads up, Gandalf. </p><p>All she can think is Kili should have a warning sign on him. It could say something like:<br/>"Caution: Exposure to KILI could result in side effects including but not limited to -<br/>- Incoherent speech<br/>- Inability to speak at all<br/>- Increased clumsiness<br/>- Decrease in brain function<br/>In a few cases more serious side effects have been reported including, but not limited, to -<br/>- The sudden urge to run off on poorly thought out adventures<br/>- Delusions where one believes they are capable of stealing from Trolls and/or dragons<br/>In order to limit the risk of developing one or more of these side effects individuals should limit their exposure to KILI to brief bursts of staring or sidelong glances."</p><p>Honestly, it'd only be fair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My very first Bilba/Kili fic! :D It is ridiculously long (a little under 25,000 words) and has been broken into two parts. Part II will be posted tomorrow - it's currently with my beta. After I get it back from her I'll do the edits and post it! :D
> 
> A few people have said they'd like to see a Bilba/Kili fic and a few others have said they'd like to see a Homeward Bound style fic where it's Bilba/Kili instead of Bilba/Thorin. SO, this is my answer to both! It's basically the quest (going from the movies only because it's faster that way) in a condensed form. Because I didn't want to simply rehash Homeward Bound I changed it up - this Bilba is quite different from Homeward Bound Bilba. Also, there's a definite crack vibe on it that Homeward Bound doesn't have. 
> 
> SO, I hope you enjoy it! :) :)

When the knock sounded on Bilba’s door she opened it without really paying attention to the two dwarves revealed to be standing on her doorstep.

A fact which was most definitely not her fault.

She could not be blamed for being a bit flustered when she _already_ had a tattooed dwarf and his kindly looking brother attempting to crack one another’s skulls in her kitchen.

Granted, they were in her kitchen because she’d _allowed_ them in, but that was entirely beside the point.

She’d been in the process of trying to figure out what, if anything, would get blood out of hardwood floors if they were successful in their head cracking efforts, and if she had any of it on hand, when the new knock had sounded.

Hoping desperately it was reality come to return her to her quiet, respectable life, she’d run to the door and flung it open.

She’d caught a brief glimpse of two figures, one blond and the other a brunette, before they both bowed in a synchronized move that spoke of long years living in close proximity to one another.

“Fili!

“And Kili!”

“At your service!’

Then they’d straightened and she'd been caught by the most blinding, simply excited to be alive smile she’d ever seen.

Her vocabulary, which she had always been rather proud of, utterly failed her and she proceeded to do a rather impressive imitation of a statue.

They ended up walking in right past her and if someone had asked her to describe Fili at that exact second she wouldn’t have been able to.

She’d worked hard to keep her eyes off Kili the rest of the night, looking anywhere but him even when he tried to speak to her or passed right by her.

Her efforts were thrown off a bit when Fili decided to start throwing her dishes around in a long chain leading to the kitchen. Kili was the second link in the chain and, despite that fact that he admittedly had fine form, double meaning fully intended; she couldn’t be expected to sit back and watch her mother’s dishes soar through the air.

In the end she probably did not make the best of first impressions but, really, what was a respectable hobbit to do when dwarves invaded her house, ate her food and threw her dishes around? Particularly when one of them was unfairly attractive and possessed a smile that stopped her in her tracks faster than the unnaturally large rat she’d once stumbled across in her woodpile?

That had been a big rat. She was pretty sure some of the children could have saddled it and ridden it around if it hadn't been for the fact that it was, you know, a rat and all.

Anyway, after all that she’d barely started to think about getting her footing when their grumpy, rude leader showed up and she found out _why_ they were there and, ultimately, she should be commended that the worst that happened was she fainted just a bit.

She ended up going to bed rather early, perfectly understandable given all the shocks she'd received in such a short time, and when she woke up the next morning to an empty house she almost, almost thanked her lucky stars and went on with her life.

But then Gandalf’s words ran through her head, as she had no doubt was his intent, and Kili’s face floated through her mind, causing her heart to jump and do unexpected things in her chest and, before she knew it, she was flying out the door so fast she barely remembered to lock it behind her.

Thus inadvertently proving once and for all that she had far more of her mother in her than she’d ever previously wanted to admit.

Also, that she might possibly be insane but she’d go with the first idea.

She caught up with them in the woods, studiously ignoring Kili because it just wouldn’t do to start stammering and blushing like an idiot in front of them all, and held out the signed contract to the kindly looking dwarf. Then, before she knew it, and well before her common sense could catch up to her and ask what she thought she was doing, she was officially a part of the Company of Thorin Oakenshield.

The next thing she knew Fili and Kili’s hands were under her arms and hoisting her into a saddle on her very own pony which would be carrying her farther than she’d ever gone.

The area on her arm where Kili touched her tingled and she struggled to hide what she knew was a truly goofy grin, focusing firmly on the pony’s neck to keep from being noticed.

By the time she’d gathered herself enough to look up and risk trying to thank him for the aid he was already past, farther along the column of dwarves snaking out ahead of her.

She sighed but mentally decided it was probably for the best.

He was royalty after all. He would no doubt marry a noblewoman from some exotic locale or another. For all she knew he already _had_ married one or was betrothed to someone, no doubt a lady of exquisite poise and bearing, trained from birth to one day be the wife of someone as highborn as he was.

A fairly well off hobbit from Hobbiton did not fit that description, in any sense.

He was miles and miles out of her league.

She would get over it, she consoled herself. It was infatuation, pure and simple. She’d had them before and would undoubtedly have them again. It would last a few days, weeks at the most, and then fade.

She’d just…not look at him and try not to think of his dazzling smile or the way his eyes lit up when he spoke, or how he towered above her the few times she’d stood near him, or…damn it, not helping.

She focused on the pony again, waiting for her traitorous face to stop feeling like it was on fire.

Honestly, the sooner this silly infatuation faded the better.

 

***

 

It.

Didn’t.

Fade.

She ended up riding near the end of the line and more often than not Fili and Kili seemed to end up directly in front of her.

The universe was out to get her, she was sure.

She soon discovered that the rest of the Company was either related to one another or possessed friendships dating back decades. They didn’t appear to be intentionally excluding her but they had an ease with one another that had built up into cohesive blocks, like a puzzle with every member fitting in perfect alignment.

She felt like an extra piece, belonging to some other puzzle entirely.

If she were more outgoing, more used to adventures like her mother, she might have started up conversations herself, even made some friends on her own. As it was, however, she’d always taken after her father, content to stay in the background, usually only engaging if someone else was there to guide her way in.

She’d hoped to find this in the person of Gandalf, a sort of bridge between her and the Company so to speak. Gandalf, however, tended to ride up front with Thorin. Bilba would rather have Lobelia as a roommate than ride next to the incredibly intimidating and brooding dwarf king. When all was said and done, she had little to do all day but stare at Fili and Kili’s backs and listen in on their conversations with other members of the Company.

This was how she came to learn that Kili’s beauty stretched much, much further than simply skin deep.

She saw the way his eyes lit up when his brother spoke to him, the way he looked with adoration at his uncle, his spirit never wavering even in face of their leader’s grumpiness and stubborn refusal to listen to all reason.

She saw his skill with his weapons, how quick he was to help in setting up or breaking down camp, as if his rank were no more than an afterthought. How he treated Nori, the self-proclaimed thief, no different than Dwalin, his uncle’s bodyguard and closest friend.

He even tried speaking to her once, the first evening they made camp. Bilba was in the process setting up her small bedroll when a shadow had fallen over her.

She looked up, and promptly froze…again.

“Hey,” Kili said, bestowing a smile on her that did nothing whatsoever to help her current level of infatuation. “How have you been doing?”

“Great,” Bilba managed to get out, her voice somewhat high pitched. Her brain had chosen that moment to join her body in rebellion, leaving her unable to think up anything more coherent, so she settled for trying to smile.

That was a mistake as she instantly started questioning if she was smiling too much or too little or if her eyes should be wider and…well, by the time she finally settled on what she hoped was a pleasant and welcoming look enough time had passed that it had grown decidedly awkward.

Kili, who looked for all the world like he’d rather be facing down his uncle (currently brooding on the other side of the fire) gave an awkward smile that looked adorable on him, which was patently unfair, and said, “Well, I think I’ll go help Fili with…something…”

He made a vague gesture and, before she could begin to formulate a response, he was striding away.

Bilba groaned in despair and leaned forward until she could lightly bang her head on her backpack.

She spent the rest of the evening working on conversations in her mind.

_“Why, hello, Kili. It’s a fine night we’re having isn’t it?”_

_“Oh, Kili. I didn’t know you were standing there. I noticed you shooting things earlier. You’re very talented.”_

Okay, that last one might not be her best work but, still, in her mind she was witty and brilliant and perfectly capable of speaking to a male, even one she had a slight, slight crush on.

Very slight, honest.

She tried several times that night to catch Kili’s attention, her mind already playing out how the resulting conversations would go, all ending in her coming across as positively amazing in all areas. Perhaps they’d end up sitting next to one another talking. She could tell him about her gardening and her favorite recipes and he could tell her about…shooting stuff and being a prince and…stuff, she guessed.

Whatever it was exiled dwarven royalty talked about.

Tragically, her fantasies failed to take into account how utterly her mind could repeatedly betray her. She did manage to catch his attention, several times, and each and every time her mind and body faithfully froze leading to her staring at him like a crazy person.

Bilba would scream at her mind to _“Do something! Say something! ANYTHING! For the love of Eru, at least stop staring at him like you’re planning to kill him in his sleep!!”_

Her mind and body weren’t listening, tragically, and every time Kili would finally grow uncomfortable and look away.

When she went to bed she noticed Kili had placed his bedroll as far from her as possible while not actually leaving the campsite.

She was starting to understand why she was still single.

He avoided all contact with her after that and Fili, who’d yet to speak to her in the first place, grew noticeably colder; which was perfectly understandable since, as far as he knew, she was insane and had designs of some kind on his little brother.

She wasn’t a crazy person, she wanted to tell them, honest. Unfortunately, that sort of thing would be exactly the sort of thing a crazy person would say so, in the end, she could only try not to stare quite so much.

Or at least try not to get caught quite as often.

As if having Fili and Kili distrusting her wasn’t bad enough, Thorin had no qualms about making his displeasure with her well known to the entire Company. Bilba hadn’t realized that Gandalf pretty much twisted his arm into taking her on the quest. Had she known she might have refused to go, a fact which would have saved her much misery and public humiliation.

It was far too late for regret, however, which left her with little choice but to listen as Thorin took his frustration with her presence out in verbal jabs and overall annoyance with everything she said and did.

As far as he was concerned, she wasn’t fit enough, she slowed them down, she didn’t pull her own weight, she made constant mistakes in setting up and breaking down camp, she couldn’t be trusted to be put on watch, and so on and so forth.

She never looked at Kili when Thorin was complaining, unwilling to see the scorn she had no doubt would be reflected in his eyes.

She was beginning to deeply regret having ever left her quiet home.

 

***

 

It was Gandalf who first clued her into the notion that she wasn’t being nearly as subtle about her infatuation with Kili as she’d led herself to believe.

“You know,” he said gently, late one evening as they camped upon a high ridge, “it might be helpful if you simply spoke to him.”

Bilba felt her face heat up until she was sure it would spontaneously burst into flame. She’d been desperately trying not to stare at Kili, who was seated along with Fili underneath a small overhang of rock. The campfire was just in front of them, the light reflecting off the rock behind them and she found it desperately unfair that he looked as good in firelight as he did in every other light.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she hissed, her voice low. “And, in case you haven’t noticed, I _have_ tried talking to him. It didn’t go well.”

Gandalf made an amused sound, his hands clutching his staff. “You could always try again.”

“You could always stop prying into my private life,” Bilba grumbled. She got to her feet, nearly tripping over a pack someone had left nearby and retrieved an apple to take to her pony.

It proved to be a mistake as a sharp noise from the forest startled her and, without thinking, she spoke out loud, wondering what it was.

Kili overheard and answered. Fili chimed in a moment later, deciding to have some fun with her.

This decision ultimately earned them the patented look of disapproval that Thorin usually reserved especially for her.

She saw the light dim slightly in Kili’s eyes at his uncle’s rebuke and felt her own heart shrivel with guilt.

She returned to her bed and stayed there, without sleeping, the rest of the night.

She imagined Kili was probably regretting her coming on the quest as well.

 

***

 

She might have never spoken to either of them again if it hadn’t been for Bofur. A few nights later he casually handed her two bowls of food and said, as though he were simply asking about the weather, “Here, take this to the lads.”

It was a full minute before he noticed she hadn’t moved. He grabbed her shoulder and lightly turned her in the right direction, giving her a gentle nudge. “That way,” he said pointing, “it’s not far.”

Bilba nodded woodenly and started off. She’d already decided before she’d taken two steps which bowl would be Kili’s and held it as though it were full of his lifeblood and the slightest misstep would spill it out on the ground.

She ended up taking several missteps in the dark, splashing copious amounts of soup over the front of her shirt and managing to singe several fingers and the top of her left foot.

It was probably a good thing the bowl hadn’t been full of Kili’s lifeblood, she decided.

He would have been doomed.

As she walked her heart raced and her nerves were out of control. She ran through her mind over and over exactly what she would say.

She would get it right this time.

_Here you go, Kili. I’ve brought you food._

Oh, her mind supplied, and Fili. She mustn’t forget Fili. He already didn’t like her. The last thing she wanted to do was give him greater cause.

_Here Kili, and Fili. I’ve brought you dinner._

Or perhaps,

_Here you go. I have dinner._

Yes, perhaps that one. It was just the right tone of nonchalant, not particularly interested in one more than the other, casual.

Just one of the Company, that was her. Not plotting anything against anyone and certainly not in possession of an infatuation so intense that every time she looked at Kili her heart gave a lurch like it wanted to jump right out of her chest and gallop away.

She was never quite sure where it planned to go. Probably home to curl up in her library with a book like a sane person with common sense would do.

Just ahead of her she spotted the two, crouched behind a log and staring off into the distance.

She stopped behind them, her heart turning absolute cartwheels in her chest, and cleared her throat.

“Here boys --- no, I don’t mean boys! I mean lads, yes, here lads --- well, Fili and Kili – or Kili and Fili. I mean, I know your names of course and, here, I brought food! It’s soup, or I think it’s soup --- well, obviously it’s soup, it’s in a bowl--”

It was several long, long moments before her mouth had mercy on her and allowed her to trail off into silence. By this time Fili and Kili had both turned to stare at her. Her only consolation was that it was so dark they couldn’t see how desperately she was hoping the ground would open and swallow her right up.

After it became apparent they were waiting to see what else she would do, she meekly offered, “So, what are you looking at anyway?”

She addressed her question to Fili, unable to meet Kili’s eyes, and barely hid a flinch at the irritation in his tone when he answered.

And that was how she found out about the missing ponies and the trolls and Fili’s brilliant idea that she, as the burglar and a hobbit who was supposed to be able to move about unseen, should be the one to go scout the area so they could plan out an attack and retrieve them.

In Fili’s defense, he did specifically say scout.

He did not, in any way shape, or form, suggest she ought to try and rescue the ponies herself.

But Kili was standing _right there_ and she did so badly want to prove to him she wasn’t useless.

Unfortunately, she probably should have been more concerned about proving to him that she wasn’t, in fact, mentally unstable.

Still, the sight of him lunging out of the woods and ordering the Troll who had grabbed her to drop her caused Bilba to want to jump with joy which, of course she couldn’t because a Troll was currently squishing her but the sentiment was the same.

And then, when the Troll proceeded to throw her at Kili and he ended up on the ground with her on top of him...

She almost declared right then and there that she could die happy.

Almost, because no one really wanted to die, especially from being eaten by a Troll. Still, it was a close thing.

Thorin and the rest of the Company showed up a few seconds later and Bilba was unceremoniously shoved off Kili because, again, Trolls and all, and then things went south in a hurry and, before she knew it, she was standing in front of a Troll informing them of the best way to cook a dwarf.

A fact which, given Kili’s outraged shout behind her, did absolutely nothing whatsoever to change his mind about her current level of sanity.

Thankfully Gandalf showed up a few minutes later and broke a giant rock, a feat she had not been aware he could perform but was quite impressive, and just like that the Trolls were doing a very good impression of her whenever she tried to talk to Kili or caught him looking at her.

Except they were actual statues so their impression was better.

Figures she’d be outdone by Trolls.

Thorin was not pleased with her attempts at heroism and she turned away from Gandalf defending her to see Fili and Kili seated on the head of one of the now stone trolls.

She wished she had the courage to climb up and join them.

She wished her infatuation with Kili would get weaker instead of continuing to get stronger.

Alas, in the end, she got neither wish.

 

***

 

Later they found the cave the trolls had been hanging out in and Gandalf presented her with a sword of her very own, not that she had the faintest idea what to do with it. Still it was pretty and sharp and pointy and, in a flash of courage, she turned to show it to Kili.

He was turned away from her, however, and she felt her spirits fall just a bit.

As she did she caught sight of Nori studying her, an appraising look in his eyes.

Shortly after that they met another wizard, who was crazy enough she felt it probably made her look sane in comparison, a plus, and then there were wargs and orcs chasing them (clearly no one in the Company had a stitch of luck to string together but they all apparently had bad luck in spades) and then there were elves, which pissed Thorin off more than usual, and, through it all she found herself hoping quite desperately that maybe, just maybe, everyone would forget about the whole troll incident.

It was unlikely but one could hope.

 

***

 

She kept to herself in Rivendell, spending her time in the library or wandering the garden paths. It was a beautiful place, though she wasn’t sure how happy she’d be if she lived there long term.

She couldn’t fathom what it was the elves _did_ all day. As far as she could tell they used their immortality to slowly wander about and look pensive.

Thorin looked like he’d sucked on a lemon, in contrast to his normal appearance where he looked like...well, maybe he looked normal after all, and Gandalf was confronted by a guy in white who was another wizard but was less weird, and therefore more boring, than the one they’d met in the woods.

She was beginning to wonder just how many wizards there were and why it was that Gandalf seemed to be the only one in favor of convincing impressionable young hobbits to leave their comfortable armchair and books to go haring off on not-nearly-as-well-thought-out-as-they-should-have-been adventures.

In all she might have found her time in Rivendell pleasant, if somewhat dull, if not for one incident that put her stay in the Last Homely Home firmly in the bad experiences category.

That incident happened at dinner, when she found out a new facet about Kili that both lifted her spirits and crushed them at the same time.

Lifted them because she found out Kili was not adverse to women from other races.

Crushed them because the woman she caught him sending appreciative looks toward was not her but an elf. A tall, slender, elf with perfect hair and flawless skin who could play music and, Bilba had no doubt, probably sing as well.

Bilba could not sing. Every time she tried cats would start making a mass exodus from nearby homes, fleeing for the hills.

Critical little bastards.

It occurred to her that she was staring at Kili in a decidedly pitiful manner and she looked away, though not before catching Nori watching her again. She forced what she really hoped was an innocent, rather than creepy, smile and then finished her food. Then, as soon as Nori’s head was turned, she fled to the library.

She was still there an hour or so later when she heard a noise and looked up to see Nori walking in with Kili behind him.

The hold Bilba had on her book turned into more of a death grip and she curled up tighter as though she could vanish into the chair. The urge to throw herself out the window and run very quickly flashed through her mind but, alas, it was far, far too late. Nori had already spotted her.

She was beginning to form an unfavorable opinion of Nori.

“You can’t really blame them,” Nori was saying. “You were the one staring like an idiot.”

“I was not staring like an idiot,” Kili said, his tone angry. “I barely looked.”

“You and I must have different definitions of just looking,” Nori said, coming to a stop right in front of Bilba who, by that point, had read the same sentence twenty times and still didn’t know what it said. “I’m just saying you did it to yourself. Wouldn’t you agree, Bilba?”

Bilba absolutely did not make a slight choking sound and most certainly did not start shaking like a rabbit.

Mainly because she was not a rabbit. She shook like a hobbit, thank you very much.

She swallowed past the sudden giant rock in her throat, raised her eyes slowly and saw Nori and Kili both looking at her.

She had definitely formed an unfavorable opinion of Nori. See if she let him have any of her famous scones the next time she had the time to make them… and the ingredients with which to make them… and a kitchen to make them in … minor details.

“Would I agree with what?” Her voice came out as a breathy whisper because her lungs didn’t appear to be working. She hoped desperately it made her sound mysterious and alluring but feared it simply made her sound out of breath.

Nori grinned broadly, an oddly triumphant look in his eyes.

Bilba resisted the urge to punch him. She’d never had the urge to punch anyone before, other than Otho of course but that didn’t count.

Everyone wanted to punch Otho.

“That Kili identifies more with elves than he does with dwarves.” Nori explained. He stepped back and moved his hands in a sweeping gesture at Kili. “He looks like one after all, wouldn’t you agree?”

Bilba gasped in surprise, gaping at him. Kili was standing rigidly, his arms crossed over his chest and his jaw set. His eyes were looking off to the side, fixed on a blank wall.

“That’s ridiculous,” Bilba blurted, “of course he doesn’t look like an elf. He looks like a dwarf!”

Nori positively beamed while Kili’s head snapped around to look at her, his eyes wide with shock as though she’d just confessed her undying love for him.

Bilba’s eyes widened. She hadn’t had she? She ran the words back through her mind and relaxed fractionally.

She hadn’t, that was a relief.

“You don’t think I look like an elf?” Kili said, his eyes on her, actually on her and not just in a glancing or casual way.

Bilba’s heart lurched in her chest and, really, if it didn’t stop doing that in Kili’s presence she was probably going to have a heart attack and die before they ever reached Erebor.

That would be downright embarrassing, not to mention reflecting poorly on her family name. It was just not respectable to sign a contract and then die before it was fulfilled.

Not respectable at all.

“Of course not,” she said, taking pride in the fact her voice was level and gave no indication that the butterflies in her stomach had suddenly decided to start doing aerobics. “You’re obviously a dwarf.” Then, because she didn’t know how to stop when she was ahead she went and added, “You have a beard.”

He scowled. “Barely.”

Bilba rolled her eyes. “We’re about the same age, right?”

He looked surprised. “Are we?”

“And Fili is older than you?” Bilba continued, ignoring the fact that he hadn’t even known how old she was.

Not that she’d told anyone because, seriously, she was a lady and a lady did not volunteer her age but, _still_ , ouch. She knew she looked her age, if not younger.

Maybe that was it, her mind supplied. He thought she looked _younger_.

Yes, she would go with that.

Kili was nodding. “By a few years.”

“Okay,” Bilba said, her tone suggesting he was missing the obvious, “if you take what you have now and add a few years to it, you’ll probably end up with more of a beard when you reach where Fili is now than he has.”

Kili looked startled. “You think so?’

“Of course,” Bilba said. “You’re also the proper height for a dwarf and not tall and spindly like they are,” okay, the spindly part was probably a wee bit spiteful but, given the circumstances, she thought it was forgivable, “you’re clealy not an elf. You’re just…young.”

Like she was, she thought in resignation. Very young and quite apt to fall in love with people far above her station and out of her reach.

He was still staring at her like he’d never seen her before and now it was getting awkward, and she could suddenly totally understand why people got uncomfortable when she did it, so Bilba carefully got out of the chair stammered out an excuse and good-bye while clutching the book tightly to her chest. She shot a glare at a blatantly unrepentant Nori behind Kili’s back and then fled.

 

***

 

They left Rivendell, and its elven women, behind the next day. Bilba was profoundly grateful for this even if the pang in her heart, created when she realized Kili noticed elven women but not hobbit ones, showed no signs of leaving.

Gandalf also stayed behind because Elrond and a few others wanted to stop them from going. This fact bothered Bilba since Elrond was a very wise and intelligent person and if he had a problem with them going wouldn’t it make sense to stay and figure out why?

Gandalf didn’t appear to think so and Thorin could be counted on to do the exact opposite of anything an elf wanted. So, off they went, sans Gandalf, which meant Bilba was surrounded by a Company of dwarves who, for the most part, still hadn’t accepted her.

Except, she soon found, for Nori.

It took her a few minutes to realize he was happily keeping pace beside her and, when she did, she glared at him.

She still hadn’t forgiven him for springing Kili on her in the library even if the memory of him actually looking at her and speaking to her gave her warm, fuzzy feelings.

“What are you doing?”

“Walking?” he said cheerfully, with a raised eyebrow, “and keeping myself entertained at the same time.”

He nodded toward the front where Kili strode alongside his brother. “You could go walk with them you know.”

Bilba sputtered and nearly tripped herself, saved from an ungainly sprawl only when Nori grabbed her arm and balanced her. “Are you insane?” she hissed at him. “I can’t go walk with them!”

“Why not?” Nori said, clearly enjoying himself to a ridiculous degree.

“Because,” she said sharply, “they’re princes. You don’t just walk around with princes.”

“You’ve been doing that since we left,” Nori countered, “and, if you know anything about them it’s that they don’t stand on ceremony.”

She did know that. It wasn’t just Kili. Fili and Thorin were both just as involved, cutting wood, hunting to supplement their supplies, keeping watch at night. None of them acted as though their rank gave them any special standing. It was one of the reasons she’d begun to genuinely want to help them in spite of their failure to completely accept her. They were good people, even if Thorin brooded all the time and thought she was useless, even if Fili spent most of his time glaring at her, even if the rest of the Company kept her at a polite distance.

They didn’t deserve what had happened to them and, she wanted to help if she could.

She wanted them to have a home, like she did.

She didn’t mention any of that up to Nori. He’d probably just laugh at her.

“Fili doesn’t even like me,” she said instead. “And I can’t walk by Kili.”

“Really?” Nori asked, drawing out the word as though he’d just hit on something he’d been searching for. “And why is that?”

Bilba studied the young dwarf where he strode beside his brother and felt resignation flood through her. She was most definitely falling in love with him, slowly but surely. It was foolhardy and ultimately doomed but she couldn’t seem to stop it no matter how hard she tried.

“I just can’t,” she said. “Drop it Nori, please.”

Somewhat to her surprise, he did.

 

***

 

It started raining later that day. The path they walked grew narrower forcing them to walk single file. Bilba somehow ended up between Dwalin and Bofur, the giant warrior marching along behind her, which wasn’t at all intimidating, while Bofur’s floppy hat bounced along in front of her.

It was oddly hypnotic, that hat.

Nori had gone up again to walk behind Fili. It looked like he was talking to the blond prince. She could see Fili’s head turned slightly as though listening and Nori’s hands were moving and gesturing but she couldn’t tell what he was so animated about.

Honestly, she was surprised they could hear one another at all given the storm lashing them.

Dwalin yelled something behind her and she looked just in time to see a massive boulder flying right at them.

That was unexpected.

Things sped up after that. Giants made from stone appeared, because that was fair, one of which they were apparently standing on.

Really, they had _awful_ luck. She wasn’t sure if it was a collective thing, or just one of them who had really bad luck and it was contaminating the group, but it was almost bordering on the ridiculous just how bad it was.

Everything became a mass of shouting and scrambling and then, in a moment she would remember the rest of her life, she found herself watching as a shelf of rock swung past her field of vision. A number of the Company stood on it but the only one she saw clearly was Kili and when the rock slammed into the mountain her scream for him actually rose above Thorin’s, her legs nearly failing under her.

Thorin surged forward, lunging to where the rock had collided. Bilba was at the back of the line and, given it was narrow and there was a pack of dwarves in front of her, it took a while to make her way up. By the time she did she could see their luck was apparently not so bad as she’d first believed. That or Eru had finally taken pity on them, because everyone was not only still alive but relatively unharmed.

Her relief was, in fact, so profound, that, in an impulsive act of sheer stupidity and madness, she proceeded to make perhaps the biggest mistake of her life.

She stepped forward and hugged Kili.

It only lasted an instant. He probably didn’t have time to even register it before she realized what she’d done and was jerking away in horror, stammering an apology. Nori was nearby and she nearly fell over herself going to him, fussing and trying to see if he was okay, in spite of the fact he hadn’t been one of the ones in danger in the first place.

When she risked a glance over her shoulder it was to see Kili staring at her, an odd expression on his face. Fili stood next to him, also looking at her and, instead of the cold look he normally favored her with, he instead simply looked perplexed.

She wrenched her eyes away and absolutely did not look again.

And she positively, absolutely, utterly did _not_ think about how extremely nice it had felt to hug Kili or how her heart and the butterflies in her stomach had apparently teamed up and were doing a line dance worthy of the most raucous of hobbit parties.

Not that she _went_ to raucous hobbit parties of course.

She was respectable after all.

She’d just _heard_.

Still, she was definitely not thinking about Kili or hugging or any combination of those two words.

When she risked a look a few minutes later he was talking to Thorin and not looking in her direction. Fili still was, his arms crossed and his brows drawn together.

She didn’t know if that was good or bad. In the end she simply made the perfectly rational choice to ignore it entirely.

All the while not thinking at all about hugging Kili. Or about the fact she would probably never wash the clothes she was wearing again. Considering the length of the trip in front of them that was a very real possibility, so it worked out perfectly.

 

***

 

They found a cave, accepted it without question because they foolishly believed their bad luck was giving them a break rather than being spiteful, and nearly collapsed in exhaustion.

Bilba ended up curled next to Nori and Bofur near the back, lost in the shadows as she very much wanted to be at that moment. Just before they’d found the cave she’d made the mistake of opening her mouth and reminding Thorin she existed. This had led to a stinging rebuke that had left her standing stunned while the rest of the Company had flowed past her. Somewhere deep inside she understood Thorin was still upset over nearly losing half his Company and his nephews, and that he was frustrated and exhausted and cold and as weary as the rest of them and his anger probably wasn’t entirely directed at her, but it did little to lessen the sting.

She caught a glimpse of Kili’s face, holding what looked suspiciously like sympathy, the very last thing she ever wanted to see from him, and then he’d been gone along with his brother.

Bofur had wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her along and now she sat curled up between him and Nori and absolutely did not care what anybody else thought, assuming they thought of her at all.

An hour or so later she awoke to someone asking about the source of a glowing light.

They found out it was her sword, and Thorin’s, about two seconds too late as the floor gave way below them and then there was a slide that rated very high on her list of things that were awful and should never be tried again and then goblins were attacking because someone, probably Thorin, had pissed off the universe and then she was falling…and then she was alone.

And just when she made the mistake of thinking it couldn’t get any worse, thereby presenting a challenge to whoever it was that had it out for them, it promptly did because she suddenly wasn’t alone anymore but desperately wished she was. The game of riddles that followed would probably leave her traumatized for life, because the creature she played against was a psychopath who wanted her for dinner and not as a guest. That she managed to survive was a surprise to her as much as the creature, who called itself Gollum, and it was that brief bit of shock that allowed the following desperate race through caverns and tunnels, the scream of “Thief! Thief!” echoing off the walls about her.

The ring she’d found (and hadn’t given back because she personally felt one was not obligated to aid creatures that wanted to eat you) proved invaluable. It made her as invisible as she so often wished she was, or as she often already seemed to be when in the presence of Kili.

After that she ended up following the creature through the mountain until the way ahead lightened with the promise of daylight. Gollum was blocking her path and it was possible she might have been too afraid to make a move if she hadn’t seen the entire Company run by.

That was a weird coincidence but, whatever. One did not look gift horses in the mouth as the saying went.

She’d never understood that saying to be honest. Did gift horses just have really bad breath or something?

Her musings were interrupted by the sight of Kili running past and, seconds later, she was leaping over Gollum and fleeing after hi—them, she was fleeing after _them_.

Behind her Gollum shrieked promises of undying hatred but the threats didn’t affect her as much as they might have before trolls, orcs, stone giants and goblins had all decided to try their very best to kill her.

Fortunately, at least so far, their very best had proven a poor showing indeed.

When she caught up to them she was surprised to see Gandalf had come back.

She was not surprised to hear what several of the members said about her when Gandalf asked where she was, though she did notice that Nori did not join in.

Neither did Fili or Kili.

Or Bofur.

Perhaps she wasn’t quite as excluded as she’d led herself to believe.

It was that, probably more than anything else, which gave her the courage to remove the ring and reveal herself. Thorin demanded to know why she had come back and she told them the truth about how she wanted to help and believed in their quest, even if they didn’t much believe in her.

She didn’t look at Kili during her speech as she just knew that, if she found him looking at her, she’d blush redder than a tomato and probably start stammering like an idiot.

A howl cut her speech short, which was just rude, and then they were running and then there was a cliff that actually made her stop in her tracks, look up at the sky and shout, “Really?”

Probably not very respectful, but she wasn’t in the best of moods. Hopefully the Valar would forgive her.

With the way things were going it was likely she’d be able to ask forgiveness in person very soon. Granted the things trying to kill them would have to start putting forth at least a little more effort, and slightly more planning than chase after them and hope it all went well, but one never knew. They could get lucky and back in the Shire a headstone would eventually appear reading “Here Lies What’s Left of Bilba Baggins. An Orc Got Lucky.”

Not _that_ kind of lucky.

Ew.

The others clambered up trees but Bilba couldn’t reach the lowest branch on any of them, her fingers barely scraping the wood as, behind her, the howls grew louder.

Then she heard, “Bilba! Hurry!” and she looked up and Kili was right above her, crouched on the branch with his hand outstretched.

Bilba, who was very much in favor of not being killed by an orc, which would just be insulting, grabbed it and he dragged her up in one easy move, releasing her hand to slid an arm around her waist and help her get settled behind him on the branch.

It was just in time, as the wargs, and the orcs on them, arrived minutes later.

Kili had wedged his quiver of arrows in the crook of the tree, along with his bow, and he grabbed one and nocked it to the string. A few seconds later he’d blinded three wargs and put arrows in the throats of two orcs before they figured out his range and moved outside of it.

Bilba laughed and clapped him on the back without thinking. “Well done!”

He shot her a pleased look and turned to face forward again, no doubt hoping one of them would be dumb enough to come back in range again.

Given their past actions, it was highly probable that would, in fact, happen.

They might have ended up in an odd, standoff with the orcs not advancing for fear of Kili’s arrows and the Company unable to escape for fear of being eaten and/or falling off an obscenely high cliff.

Gandalf apparently couldn’t handle standoffs, however. For reasons beyond her he decided fire was the answer, because the fact they were in trees made from wood had somehow escaped him. Then Thorin, because he was an idiot, decided the best course of action would be to charge the really big pale orc, who was sitting on an equally large warg, holding a mace so gigantic it suggested he was compensating for something.

As expected, it did not turn out well.

Then, in a move that she was sure surprised her more than anyone else, she discovered Thorin’s poor choices were contagious and decided the best course of action was for _her_ to also charge the really big orc, who was still sitting on a large warg, holding a mace so gigantic it suggested he was compensating for something.

Kili realized what she was doing about a second to late and grabbed for her, which was sweet and made her heart erupt in paroxysms of happiness, but he was too slow and missed.

Her attempt, not so surprisingly, went about as well as Thorin’s.

It was only as she stood between the orc and Thorin, who had chosen that moment to become unhelpfully unconscious, that her mind politely inquired as to why she had chosen this particular method of death.

It might have been nice had it spoken up earlier, but it had probably been as stunned as the rest of the Company and it had taken a few seconds to process.

She supposed the answer was that she truly did care about them, all of them.

She’d believed in their quest, had seen the pain of loss in their eyes.

She’d wanted to help.

And if it turned out the only help she gave was killing one orc who’d been about to give Thorin a haircut with extreme prejudice…well, she could live with that.

Or not live with that to be accurate, but it was the sentiment that counted.

The fire continued to crackle around her as though providing an audience and the sharp sting of smoke stung her nostrils and made her eyes water. The second orc was approaching to kill her, and probably Thorin because he was showing no signs of heroically waking up and taking up his sword any time soon.

She ended up closing her eyes because the fact she was ready to die didn’t mean she particularly wanted to watch it. Because of this she would have missed her rescue entirely if twin yells of rage hadn’t rung out and alerted her to the idea that she might not be dying right then after all.

She opened her eyes just in time to see Kili and Fili fly by, their weapons flashing. The orc advancing on her went down and as more came forward the rest of the Company arrived in true last minute hero fashion.

They were able to stay alive long enough for Gandalf to bring in reinforcements, in the form of giant eagles that picked them up and got them away from the fire and orcs and wargs and everything _currently_ trying to kill them.

It was, she felt, entirely unnecessary for one of the eagles to pick her up and throw her over the edge of the cliff, even if she did land on the back of another eagle and that ride, in the end, was far more pleasant than being carried in talons for an extended period of time.

She saw Fili and Kili on the back of a nearby eagle, their faces fixed on Thorin who was being carried, his body limp and eyes closed.

She hoped he wasn’t dead. He was broody and grumpy and had very little use for her but he was also a good leader and fair and honorable and did right by his people as best he could. And his nephews, who were amazing in their own right, loved him which said as much about the type of person Thorin was as anything could.

They finally landed on top of a giant rock that, at a glance, would probably kill them when they tried to get down. Bilba wanted to ask why the eagles couldn’t have put them on another surface, even a high one if they wished, with less of a chance of death involved in getting down but she didn’t.

It would have been rude.

She hung back as Gandalf and the others ran to Thorin and breathed a collective sigh of relief with the rest of them as he moved and opened his eyes.

That sigh quickly cut off as the first words out of his mouth were to ask where she was.

When he first started on what sounded like a tirade she stiffened and shrank into herself a bit. Behind him she saw several of the dwarves tense and Nori even stepped forward as if he planned to say something.

Then Thorin ended with “I have never been so wrong in all my life” and hugged her and Bilba was so freaked out by it she almost wished he’d go back to yelling.

In the end she settled for returning the hug, in part because she was worried he’d struck his head and figured it’d be best to just go with it and not upset the potentially delusional guy.

As he pulled away he smiled at her for the first time since they’d met and she suddenly had a good idea of where Kili had inherited his from.

Thorin stepped away and, as he did, Bilba couldn’t help but hope that, if he were delusional, he would perhaps stay that way for just a little while.

Though perhaps with less spontaneous hugging, from Thorin at least.

If Kili wanted to spontaneously hug her that would be fine of course.

Absolutely fine.

 

***

 

As expected, getting down the stupid giant rock tower nearly killed them all.

Well, okay, nearly killed _her_. The steps, if they could be called that, were incredibly steep and very narrow and had clearly been designed by someone who was either very small or very narrow or simply very much in favor of steps that could kill you.

Added to that, Bilba discovered to her surprise she suffered from vertigo and made it all of three steps before having to stop, convinced she was about to fall and die horribly.

It was Nori who yelled back up, “Kili! Help Bilba out would you?”

Kili, who was a few dwarves ahead of her immediately turned and made his way back to her. “Come on,” he said, “you can hold on to my belt.”

Thankfully he turned around as soon as he said it, thereby missing entirely how Bilba immediately went red and started stammering. She sent a glare down at Nori only to see he wasn’t paying attention. Instead, was leaning over to say something to Fili who, again, was looking at her with a pensive look on his face as though he was trying to put together a puzzle.

Bilba looked away and carefully grabbed ahold of Kili’s belt loops, trying desperately to swallow the goofy smile she knew was plastered on her face.

Maybe glaring at Nori wasn’t the right response after all.

Maybe she should be thanking him instead.

 

***

 

Thorin’s sudden acceptance was like the icebreaker she’d been waiting for, opening her path into the tightknit group that comprised the rest of the Company. Bombur was suddenly asking for her help with cooking, Ori wanted to talk books with her, Bofur and Nori started traveling with her during the day.

As tended to happen with her, now that she had friends to bolster her self-confidence she began to open up, becoming more animated, quicker to smile, faster to laugh at something one of them said. Nori’s brother, Ori, soon joined them and the lot of them would travel in a tight knot at the back of the group. A few times Bilba looked up to see Fili and/or Kili watching her and once, in a fit of self-assurance, grinned brightly in response before returning to her group of newfound friends.

She didn’t suddenly become instant friends with everyone but she was at ease in their company and they, in turn, became more open to her, sending a smile to her or the occasional question.

Possibly the only downside to Thorin’s acceptance was his sudden decision to completely include her in the Company.

As in she now got to help keep watch with the rest of them.

Why Thorin believed that to be a _good_ thing was beyond her but believe it he did.

Of course he didn’t her do it _alone_ because, accepting or not, he wasn’t an idiot, most of the time at least, and didn’t particularly want to wake up dead because he put an inexperienced and untrained person on watch alone.

The first person she was on watch with was Dwalin, who was one step down on the intimidation level from Thorin. Without Nori, Bofur or Ori to back her up she reverted to ‘scared of all things’ mode and pretty much just sat stiffly. Dwalin, who wasn’t talkative to begin with, seemed content to sit and stare off into the distance as though daring the darkness to come and attack them.

She really hoped the darkness didn’t take him up on that dare, at least not while she was on watch with him.

The next time she was paired with Gloin who spent the entire time regaling her with tales of his wife and son. Bilba had a suspicion he was so excited because she was the only person still willing to put up with him and who hadn’t heard the tales enough times to recite them back to him.

The third time they camped in a small wooded area with a nice outcropping of rocks on one edge. Bilba curled up on one, her back against another stone behind her, and settled in to keep an eye out for things trying to kill them.

Fili sat down across from her and Bilba suppressed a quiet “eep” as he settled in, crossing one leg and allowing the other to hang off the edge of the rock. He pulled out a couple of his knives and absently started sharpening them.

Around them the rest of the Company began settling down, banking the fire to prevent enemies from seeing it from a distance. Slowly the movement stopped until the others were little more than silent mounds on the ground.

“So,” Fili said, breaking the quiet so suddenly she jumped in surprise, “you were on watch with Gloin last.”

“Yeah,” Bilba said, “and Dwalin before that.”

Fili nodded. “A lot of girls back home would have been excited to be in your spot.”

Bilba frowned in confusion. “Sitting on a rock in the middle of nowhere?”

“No,” he said dryly, “to have spent several hours in the presence of Gloin.”

Bilba blinked and ran the words through her mind again, and again after that.

She was clearly missing something.

“Gloin’s married,” she said carefully, trying not to sound like she was questioning Fili’s intelligence, even though she really was.

“Doesn’t seem to bother them,” Fili said with a shrug. “You should see how they follow him around. His wife has to beat them off, literally.”

“Gloin?” Bilba asked in surprise. She thought it over and, nope, it made no more sense the second time through her head. “I mean, he’s nice and all but… _Gloin_?”

That got her a raised eyebrow. “Why not? You should have seen his wedding. It was a day of mourning for most of the single girls in the Blue Mountains, what few there are. Some of them even petitioned Uncle to stop the wedding.” He grinned. “He let my mother deal with it.”

Bilba shook her head. “Sorry,” She said. “I still don’t get it.”

He studied her as if trying to determine if she was being serious or not. Finally he said, “Gloin was _the_ most eligible bachelor in the Blue Mountains.” He raised an eyebrow at her confused look. “We’re dwarves,” he said slowly, as though he were now the one questioning her intelligence, which was simply rude even if she’d started it. “Carved from stone. What do you think of when you think of stone? Large, stocky, solid, rugged--”

Realization finally struck and Bilba’s eyes widened. “Oh!” She got it and, no, the length of time it took her was not in any way related to her intelligence level thank you very much.

It made sense now that she thought about it. Dwarves, as Fili said, were indeed carved from stone. Naturally they would value attributes that aligned with the substance they had been formed from. She ran through the Company members in her mind, reorienting them according to the new standard Fili had given her. Gloin would definitely be at the top she realized, Dwalin too.

At the bottom would be...her mouth dropped open.

No.

Way.

As if reading her mind, Fili said, “I got in a lot of fights at home, protecting Kili. Other kids liked to bully him. They always said he was too small, his bone structure too fragile, too delicate.”

“But he’s young,” Bilba said in shock, “He’ll grow into himself.”

“We reach maturity at age thirty,” Fili said, his eyes going back to the knife he was sharpening. “About the only change Kili still has to look forward to is his beard coming in. Aside from that he’s done growing.”

Bilba thought back to Rivendell and how upset Kili had been over Nori referring to him as elven. He did, she realize, have more in common with them at first glance than he did with dwarves. His bone structure was more fine than traditionally seen on a dwarf, his features gearing more toward attractive than rugged or carved-from-stone-like though she imagined that would change once he grew out a beard.

“It’s still ridiculous,” she muttered, catching Fili’s attention. “It’s like you dwarves have just rejected your own origins.”

Fili paused in the act of sharpening one of his blades. “Excuse me?”

Bilba rolled her eyes, hoping he could see it. He was a dwarf after all, they could see in the dark, right?

“First off there’s so much more to Kili than just his looks. He’s kind and loyal and funny and his entire face lights up when he smiles and he’s an amazing archer and a hard worker and he’s smart and--” She took a deep breath, trying to refocus before she blurted out all her feelings toward the young dwarf, an act which would necessitate her immediately death by mortification. “When you dig a ruby out of the ground do you just stick it on a ring and call it finished?” she challenged. Ire rose in her as she thought of anyone mistreating Kili. “Of course not. You get rid of the roughness, cut off the hard corners and make it smooth. You shine and polish it until it’s beautiful and then you put it in a setting that’s often very delicate looking but is strong enough to last centuries.” She huffed and crossed her arms over her chest, wishing she could have been there to punch stupid people alongside Fili. “Kili isn’t rough stone at all, he’s refined. He’s a gemstone, more precious and beautiful than rough, uncut stone could ever be but still, in every respect, a stone.”

Or in this case, a dwarf, but the analogy still worked.

Fili was staring at her like she’d grown two heads. He was completely still; his hands paused in the process of sharpening a blade and his mouth actually slightly agape.

Suddenly he shifted, his leg going out and kicking at something. “Hey, wake up.”

Movement came from near their feet and suddenly Kili was sitting up and Bilba was making strangled noises at the realization that he’d been _right there_ the entire time and she somehow _hadn’t noticed._

_How had she not noticed?_

Kili frowned at Fili, his eyes heavy lidded. “What?” He groused. “Is it my turn already?”

Fili gestured toward her. “Tell him what you just told me. About the gemstones.”

Bilba would much rather have a second go round in the riddle contest with Gollum. She gave Fili a pleading look.

He responded with one of his own.

His was _better_ than hers, the bastard.

Kili was looking at her. She always knew when he was looking at her. The awkward portion of her brain triggered and she immediately started behaving like an idiot.

She took a deep breath and in a voice that was far less assured or confident than the one she’d used with Fili, managed to repeat what she’d said, mostly. It was decidedly more garbled and far less impressive sounding and there may have been one, or eight, awkward pauses as her mind refused to cooperate but she did manage to get it all out and she was pretty sure her heart was not actually thumping loudly enough to be audiblein spite of how loud it sounded in her head.

She couldn’t see Kili very well in the dark, just a still silhouette.

“I never thought of it that way before,” he said a few long, very, very long, minutes later. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Bilba managed to squeak out, her hands clenched so hard in her lap it was a wonder she didn’t break her own fingers.

Fili nudged his brother with the toe of a boot. “Back to sleep, you’ve only got a few hours left before you will be on watch.”

Kili obeyed with a speed that led Bilba to wonder how fully awake he’d been in the first place.

She rather hoped he hadn’t been. Perhaps he wouldn’t remember this conversation in the morning.

“I believe,” Fili said, his voice breaking into her thoughts, “I may have misjudged you rather badly Miss Baggins.”

“It’s okay,” Bilba managed. “I’m not exactly easy to get to know.”

“It isn’t that,” Fili corrected. “Back home, when it came to the small handful of eligible women his age, they always seemed to separate into two groups around Kili, those who wanted to bully him for his looks and those who wanted to be around him for his status.” He shifted on the rock, pulling his leg up so he was seated cross legged. “One in particular was rough for him when he was thirty. There was a specific young woman he’d been interested in for quite some time. He approached her and found out she was interested in return.”

Bilba tensed, worried she was about to hear Kili wasn’t available, not that she had a chance if he was available since she couldn’t even bring herself to talk to him but it would still be rough to hear he was even _more_ unavailable than she’d initially thought. “That doesn’t sound like it’d be rough. What happened?”

“She was interested,” Fili said, his voice cold, “in his rank and, apparently, in using him to get closer to me. Who knows, it’s always possible her end design was on Uncle, not that she ever got that far.”

Bilba didn’t ask what had happened to her. She’d already seen how protective Fili and Thorin were of Kili and couldn’t imagine things turning out well for anyone who’d hurt him.

“I’m sure there must have been girls who were genuinely interested in him,” Fili continued, “but he was burned so badly it made it harder for him to trust.”

“Does he have anyone now?” she asked, her voice a low whisper, bracing herself to hear the worst.

“No,” Fili said. “He doesn’t.”

“Really?” Bilba tried to hide the flood of relief. “What about a betrothal? You’re both princes, isn’t that the way it goes?”

Fili gave a short laugh. “Perhaps, if our mother was anyone else. She’s always been quite adamant about Kili and I having the freedom to marry whomever we wish.”

Kili was single _and_ free to marry anyone.

Bilba bit back a curse as her heart swelled with foolish hope.

She’d never get over him now.

“What about you?” Fili asked. “Anyone waiting for you back in the Shire?”

“Not for me so much as my fortune,” Bilba muttered. “I can understand you and Kili in that much at least.”

“You’re well off then?” Fili leaned back against a tree trunk rising up behind the rock he sat on.

“I have plenty of money,” Bilba said with a shrug. “Not that I’ve ever particularly cared for it Money won’t visit you when you’re sick, sit with you when you’re lonely or cry for you when you’re gone. In the end, if it’s all you have, what good is it?”

Fili studied her. “I _have_ misjudged you,” he said, his voice so quiet she barely heard it, “and for that I apologize.”

Bilba flushed, ducking her head. “It’s fine,” she repeated, “really.”

“It’s not,” Fili replied, “but I appreciate it.”

Bilba gave a small smile and they settled into companionable silence.

The next day, Bilba found Fili joining her small group at the back of the line.

Fili…and Kili along with him.

Both seemed to have come to the conclusion she was not nearly as insane as she came across as upon first impression.

She was grateful for this.

She was a Baggins after all and had a reputation to maintain.

It just would not do for other races to see her as insane.

It would just not do at all.

 

***

 

Of course, it wasn’t easy having Kili walking _right_ there instead of ahead of them like she was used to. At first she found herself lapsing back into her old habits, silence and awkwardness.

It was harder, however, when surrounded by her friends and soon enough they managed to draw her back out again. She still found it nearly impossible to look at him, let alone speak to him though. The second she tried her heart would begin racing away in her chest and her stomach would start clenching in impressive ways.

More often than not when she caught sight of Kili, purely by accident of course, she would find his eyes on her, often with the same look Fili had once worn, as though he were trying to add something up about her.

Then one night as she ate Fili and Kili suddenly came and sat down on the log she was on, one on each side of her. Bilba responded by immediately dropping her bowl only to have Fili catch it and casually hand it back as though he’d expected her to do that.

He then proceeded to draw her out in conversation, adding his brother in as a matter of course, and then suddenly realized he had something he’d wanted to talk about to someone.

He was rather vague about it.

In any case he jumped up and strode off and suddenly she was eating dinner with Kili.

She was barely able to speak two words to him that night, managing only one or two syllable responses to every question he asked. Later she’d lain in her bedroll and struggled not to cry at her own ineptitude, mentally cursing her inability to have even a basic conversation with him.

She wanted to hug Fili the next day when he did the same thing as the day before, and then did it again the day after and the day after that until it became so normal that Kili automatically began to come sit next to her even before Fili had finished getting his own meal.

And, slowly, _ever_ so slowly, Bilba began to be able to talk to him.

It wasn’t great conversation at first. Honestly she was so nervous she couldn’t be sure _what_ she’d said to him most of the time but, in the end, it was talking.

And Kili, wonder of all wonders, _listened_ to her. His eyes would be on her as she spoke; never straying to see what else was going on in the camp. He’d ask her questions, respond to those she asked and, in later days, would actually recall previous discussions they’d had.

Some days Bilba would find her food had gone entirely cold as she talked to Kili.

Some days she found his had too.

Eventually she was able to speak to him away from dinner too, able to look at him as they trekked onward during the day; sometimes enough to laugh or even tease him. Her heart still gave a small jump any time his attention was turned to her but her stomach settled and she was able to look back steadily without her nerves getting in the way.

It was probably the best few weeks of her life.

Unfortunately, they were not on a pleasant trek across Middle Earth but were journeying to Erebor to take on a dragon with orcs and wargs hot on their trail and, soon enough, said orcs and wargs managed to catch up.

They ended up having to run, again, and soon found themselves at the home of a giant skinchanger named Beorn.

He could change into a bear and insisted on calling her little bunny. She was not a fan of this nickname but when someone could turn into a giant bear and eat you it pretty much stood to reason that they could call you whatever they wanted.

So little bunny it was.

Beorn loaned them new ponies to ride and, with them, they were able to make it to Mirkwood without further incident.

There Gandalf left them again because he had better things to do than help an exiled king regain his kingdom from a dragon.

The fact that it was probably true worried her but, in the end, there was little she could do about it. By this time she’d been fully accepted into the Company and so didn’t mind nearly as much as she watched the wizard ride away into the distance.

Though she did wonder vaguely how Beorn was going to react to Gandalf keeping the horse when he’d left strict instructions they were to be released immediately upon arriving at Mirkwood.

Hopefully Gandalf could take care of himself. Just as long as she didn’t end up getting eaten by the bear for associating with the wizard.

That would just be unfair.

And rude.

 

***

 

She did not expect giant spiders but, really, who expected giant spiders? It wasn’t something that immediately sprang to mind, even when venturing into so dank and dismal a place as Mirkwood.

An aptly named place if ever there was one.

They got spectacularly lost right away in spite of Thorin’s insistence that he knew exactly where they were going.

Really, the fact that none of them had a problem with Thorin leading the way should have been a huge tipoff that the overall weirdness of the forest was affecting them.

As it was, she was forced to eventually climb a tree to clear her head and when she came back down giant spiders had carried off with the rest of the Company.

Giant, freaking, spiders.

Spiders were freaky enough on their own. What possible need was there for them to be _giant_?

It was the first time Bilba found herself completely on her own with no one to guide her or help her figure out what to do.

It didn’t matter though, as there was no way she was letting a bunch of giant, ugly, freaky, really scary spiders eat her friends.

Also, she had a magic ring that made her invisible which was very helpful and probably gave her an unfair advantage but, seeing as how it was giant spiders, she deserved it.

They had an unfair advantage by _existing_.

The ring ended up completely backstabbing her though because no sooner had she used it to save her friends, and Kili, than she dropped it and in her fixation to find it again she completely missed out on everyone getting captured by elves.

She did hear the voices as she returned and slid on her ring and darted behind a tree, because that made her doubly invisible or…something.

She peeked out just in time to see a beautiful, redheaded elven woman save Kili and felt something inside her wrench as she remembered, belatedly, how much he liked elven women.

Suddenly she hated Mirkwood for far more than just the stupid spiders.

The Company was taken to the elven palace and she trailed behind, trying to ignore the way the redheaded Captain stayed close to Kili.

When they vanished inside she darted in after, just barely making it before the doors slammed shut.

She followed the Company long enough to see where they were taken and then followed Thorin to watch him insult the elven king Thranduil before he, too, was taken and put in a cell.

Really, whose idea had it been to let _Thorin_ talk to Thranduil?

After that she explored, trying to find a way to escape. She hit upon one she thought might work and returned to let the others know, only to stumble to a stop at the sight of the redheaded Captain seated outside Kili’s cell, the two of them speaking in low voices.

It was like a punch to the gut.

Kili, her mind cruelly reminded her, didn’t like hobbit women, had never so much as glanced at her with anything more than friendship.

He liked elven women and the one he was speaking to now was perfect. She was beautiful in a way Bilba would never be, was a warrior like Kili, the complete opposite of Bilba in every way and precisely perfect for Kili.

He might care for Bilba, even see her as a friend but he would never look at her the way she imagined he was probably looking at the elven woman right then.

She’d heard heartbreak described before.

She understood it now, for it truly did feel as though her heart were shattering inside her.

Her eyes burned and she turned and went back to the wine cellar where she sat in a corner and cried while waiting for the stupid guards to get drunk already so she could get the keys and get out and get as far from Mirkwood as possible.

For the first time she found herself homesick and desperately wishing she’d never left the Shire.

She’d known her infatuation would only lead to heartbreak, but that didn’t make it any less painful when it did.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised! :D I hope you enjoy! :)
> 
> A massive thank you to Drenagon for beta'ing this entire thing in just TWO days! Also for giving me many ideas on areas I could expand and add to in the story! :D :D
> 
> OH, and a note I forgot to add in chapter one - for the purposes of this fic, dwarves and hobbits have the same length lifespans. :)

Elves were very good at holding their wine, to the point Bilba feared her plan might not work at all.

After what seemed an eternity the two guards finally managed to drink themselves into a stupor and Bilba got ahold of the keys.

She returned to the cells, now thankfully free of any redheaded elves, removed her ring and set to work freeing everyone.

Cries of “Bilba!” rang out and she hurriedly hushed them, not wanting to attract attention.

She saved Kili for last, needing the extra time to get herself together. He was standing at the door waiting for her and she tried to smile at him, she really did, but it simply would not come.

She got the door open and stepped away, only to find a hand on her arm pulling her back. Kili spun her around and wrapped both arms around her, hugging her tight.

“Thank Mahal,” he whispered. “You have no idea how worried I was.” He pulled back, his eyes searching hers. “Bilba? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Bilba responded, finally forcing a smile that was probably closer to a grimace.

His hug meant nothing she told herself. He worried for her as much as the others did. Bofur had hugged her, as had Nori. Even Fili had thrown an arm around her shoulders for a quick hug and Thorin had clapped her on the shoulder.

It was friendship, nothing more.

She swallowed and nodded, almost to herself.

Kili liked elves. She should have remembered that. Perhaps it would have saved her pain.

“We need to get out,” she said, her voice only slightly shaky. She turned to the rest of them. “Come on, I have a plan.”

 

***

 

She never said it was a _good_ plan.

That was a misconception on their part and entirely not her fault.

For all their complaining it wasn’t as if any of them had a better idea. They couldn’t storm the entrance and the only reason they weren’t surrounded by guards already was because the only two downstairs were drunk unconscious while the rest were upstairs partying about something or other.

Probably the fact they were elves and everyone, including dwarven princes, loved them.

She finally had to turn to Thorin who proceeded to order the rest to obey her, a fact which gave her a warm fuzzy feeling in spite of her pain.

Everyone crammed into barrels and just as Kili started to say something she pulled the lever and sent them all splashing into the river below.

It was only after she did it that she realized the flaw in her plan, being that she was now alone and without a barrel of her own, as well as the fact that Kili may have been in the process of pointing this out when she’d interrupted him by sending him rolling into the river.

Luckily she was able to correct the oversight by standing on the right portion of the floor. The fact that it was purely by accident was not something anyone ever needed to know. Let them think her plan had been entirely well thought out and brilliant in every aspect.

Thorin had waited for her, which cued more warm fuzzy feelings, and after a freezing splash into the water which created no fuzzy feelings whatsoever, she managed to grab onto Gloin’s barrel and hang on as they set off.

Somewhat to her surprise, as they drifted down she felt a hand close around her wrist and tug her off Gloin’s barrel. She transferred automatically and looked up to see Kili’s face above hers. She raised an eyebrow in question and he grinned at her.

“Gloin can get his own hobbit.”

Bilba didn’t have a chance to respond as things got a bit rough after that and she was focused on holding on and then a gate showed up and the stupid elves closed it, because they were jerks, and she nearly got crushed when all the barrels jammed up.

Oh and then orcs showed up and started trying to kill them because bad luck had not left them but had simply been taking a very short vacation.

Her barrel tilted alarmingly and Fili grabbed her, jerking her over to his barrel. Kili had apparently been in the process of scrambling out of his barrel, only to stop in embarrassment as the weight shift had tipped the barrel and nearly sent her under the water. Now that she was safe, and before she could say anything at all, he proceeded to resume scrambling out of his barrel, his eyes focused on the lever that would open the gate.

It would have been nice if he hadn't been quite so focused, or if he'd bothered to mention what he was doing. It would have ben beneficial to him as Bilba _had a sword_ and would have happily loaned it to him.

As it was she pushed off from Fili's barrel before he could stop her and started after Kili because she couldn’t stand the thought of him up there alone without a weapon or armor. She had just reached the stairs herself when an arrow sank into Kili's thigh.

He collapsed with a cry and she screamed and then something crazy overtook her because she was suddenly charging up the steps and driving her sword into the stomach of an orc looming over him with a sword raised over its head.

That left her open to a second orc, because passion did not equate to training and perhaps she should have done something about that during the months she’d been traveling with experienced warriors, but it worked out because an arrow was suddenly sticking out from the orc’s throat and it fell dead at her feet.

She smiled and turned to look at who had saved her, only to feel the smile fade completely when she realized it was the redheaded elven woman, who'd shown up with some of her closest friends to save the day. She’d already turned to deal with a second enemy because she _was_ trained and knew exactly what she was doing.

Bilba jerked back to see Kili lunging forward to pull the lever and she grabbed his arm to help him. A second later she received even more help in the form of Fili who had also managed to struggle out of his barrel to aid his brother.

Somehow they got him into a barrel as it flew past and then Fili turned to send her into one but Bilba shoved him forward instead.

Dwarves had incredibly dense bones. If Fili went in the water and lost hold of a barrel he would sink right down and never come back up.

She tried to jump into another empty barrel but missed entirely because her aim, much like her luck, sucked. The cold water stunned her momentarily but she still managed to get back to the surface where Nori grabbed her just as his barrel flashed past, one of the last to make it through.

Bilba heard Nori shout “Hold on!” and looked ahead to see a drop off directly in front of them.

What followed was not fun and definitely would be making it to her list of Things to Never Try Again.

It probably wouldn’t make it ahead of the goblin slide of death but it would certainly be a close second.

She was vaguely aware of orcs chasing them and elves chasing _them_ but there was a waterfall and rapids and whitewater and she was fairly convinced she swallowed most of the river which left her gagging and nearly blacking out at times.

At one point she felt a tug at her waist and realized Nori had spotted her sword and was borrowing it.

She didn’t mind, given all she was going through to survive the river it would be nice to not turn around and get killed by the orcs.

He kept a hand twisted in her clothing, holding her when her grip weakened or fell away entirely.

What felt like an eternity later they finally made it, away from the rapids, the orcs and redheaded elven women.

She was happiest about that last one.

They made it to shore and she splashed out and reached Kili’s side in time to help Fili get him out and to the shore. Kili slid an arm around her waist and held on tight, most likely because he was weak and needed the aid.

After that they ran into a Man who aimed a bow and arrow at Kili, a fact that did not endear him to Bilba though she did eventually come to find out he was nice enough, for a man who held bows and arrows on innocent, injured dwarven princes.

Bastard.

The Man, whose name was Bard, took them to Lake-town for a copious amount of money which he promptly used to buy fish that he immediately donated to the starving populace.

So, maybe only partially a bastard.

He took them to his house where Bilba remembered little because Kili wasn’t doing well at all no matter how hard he tried to hide it.

She barely paid any attention when the others threw a fit over the weapons Bard provided, though it did remind Nori to return her sword to her so that was nice.

Thorin decided the best course of action would be to raid the armory and Kili insisted on going in spite of him being in no condition to do so.

Because he was a Durin and they were the most stubborn, hard headed idiots on the face of Middle Earth.

So, _because_ it was a Durin plan, and featured a Durin trying to prove he wasn’t hurt when he really was, it went about as well as can be expected.

In other words they got caught.

They seemed to get caught a lot now that she thought about it.

This did not bode well for trying to sneak into the dragon’s lair and rip him off, but she wouldn’t have a Durin with her when she did that so perhaps it would work out.

They got dragged in front of the Master of Lake-town where Thorin gave an inspiring speech, one of the things he _was_ good at, and convinced them all to outfit the Company and send them on their way to potentially piss off a dragon.

Bard was not for this plan.

Bilba could understand.

Thorin really was quite good at speeches, though, so not only did they get everything they wanted but the Master threw a giant party for them in the main hall of Lake-town.

It was like they all just completely missed the part about the dragon.

Kili sat in a corner of the room, refusing all food and trying to pretend he didn’t feel awful. Bilba and Fili took turns checking on him until Bilba, unable to have any fun at all with him so miserable, simply sat down next to him.

They were friends after all, right?

Kili gave her a weak grin. “You should go join in. I’m fine.”

“I don’t much feel like partying,” Bilba said truthfully. “Somehow the thought of facing a dragon doesn’t put me in the celebrating mood.”

Kili grimaced. “I don’t like it. You going in. I should go with you.”

Bilba didn’t point out he could barely walk, let alone face a dragon with her. “The whole reason I’m here is because the dragon hasn’t smelled hobbit before and, besides, I’m the one who walks quietly.” She also had a magic ring. Magic rings were very helpful when dealing with dragons. At least she hoped so. “If you went it’d defeat the whole purpose of me being here.” She shrugged. “You didn’t mind when I first joined you.”

“I didn’t know you then,” Kili said, his eyes oddly intense. “You were just the hobbit or the burglar. Now--” He made an aggravated sound. “I don’t want to think of you going in there.”

He was sweating, Bilba noticed and reached up to put a hand on his forehead. His skin felt clammy and hot at the same time.

“You have a fever.”

He rolled his eyes. “We’re not talking about me.”

“You’re the one currently suffering,” Bilba said.

Feeling suddenly far braver than she probably had a right to be, she shifted into a more comfortable position and grabbed his arm, tugging on him. He frowned, then his eyes widened and, almost hesitantly, he lay down and stretched out on his back, his head in her lap.

Bilba got Fili’s attention and soon had a blanket under Kili’s head and a wet rag for his forehead. The corner was far enough from the celebration and dark enough that no one took much notice of them, even when Fili returned with a glass of liquid in one hand.

“There’s no telling what was on that arrow,” he said, kneeling down, “or in the river after.”

He met his brother’s eyes and Kili scowled and gave a short nod.

He reached a hand up and grabbed Bilba’s arm, his eyes locking with hers. Bilba pulled his hand off her arm and intertwined her fingers with his, keeping their eye contact.

A moment later Fili pulled the binding off Kili’s leg and poured the contents of the glass over the wound. Kili’s entire body arched, his grip on her hand tightening to the point that she worried he might actually crush it. He clenched his teeth but a strangled moan still escaped, quickly lost to the cacophony of the room.

“Done,” Fili said, setting the glass down and pulling out a new strip of cloth he’d gotten from somewhere to wrap around the leg. His jaw was tight and he looked so upset that one would think he'd been the one to just have alcohol poured over an open wound and not his little brother.

Kili sagged, his chest heaving as he struggled to push through the pain.

Bilba reached up and lightly pushed sweat slicked hair off his forehead, humming a song under her breath she remembered her mother singing to her when she’d been ill. She put a hand on his chest and, as he seemed to want it, kept eye contact with him as the pain subsided.

Fili put a hand on Kili’s forehead, his brow furrowed. “It’s not that bad of a fever,” he said, “I’ll go get Oin to mix up something for him.” He grinned at Kili. “No worries, little brother. I’m sure you’ll be back to normal by morning.”

He pushed up and vanished into the crowd in search of Oin and Bilba settled back against the wall.

Kili sighed, relaxing as the pain finally started to subside back to where it had been before Fili had cleaned it.

He was still holding her hand and Bilba couldn’t bring herself to release his even though she probably should as it was doing absolutely nothing good for her heart.

By the time Fili returned with Oin, Kili had nearly fallen asleep and they had to wake him up to get him to drink the concoction the healer had brought.

After that Fili settled down and pulled his brother’s feet into his lap and together the two of them passed the night watching over him.

 

***

 

He wasn’t back to normal by morning.

It was so clear he was ill that it was impossible to hide and, as they got in the boats to go, Bilba saw Thorin grab Kili’s shoulder and order him to stay behind.

She stared in shock at the ensuing argument and then as Fili and Oin both followed Kili out of the boat. Without thinking, Bilba started to scramble forward, only to have Thorin grab her arm and stop her.

“Your entire purpose for coming lies in that mountain,” he said. “You have to come.”

He was right. If she stayed she’d be letting them all down, Kili included. She nodded shakily and said, “Just let me say good-bye. Just a moment.”

Thorin, to her surprise, gave a short nod and released her arm.

Bilba got out and dropped to her knees in front of Kili, one hand resting on his leg. She half expected him to shove her away, not from anger at her but frustration over his own illness and not being allowed to see the quest to its end.

Instead he grabbed her hand, his grip tight. “Bilba.”

“I won’t let you down,” Bilba said. She looked at Fili and Oin, and mentally included Bofur who had been passed out in the main hall the last time she saw him and was about to get left behind as a result. “Any of you.”

“Bilba,” Kili repeated. His eyes were feverish and she wasn’t sure if he was fully aware of her. She shot a worried look at Fili who gave a short nod.

“I’ll take care of him.” He gave her a worried look. “Be safe, Bilba.” His eyes flicked toward his uncle and away again. “Your life is more important than a pile of gold, remember that.”

“Bilba,” Thorin’s voice sounded behind her. “We need to go, now.”

Bilba hugged Fili and then Oin.

She hugged Kili last. His arms went around her and pulled her tight. Bilba knew there was the possibility she might never see him again. Anything at all could go wrong, for either one of them.

And so as she pulled away, in a fit of insanity born from those fears as well as the belief he was so sick he probably wasn’t even fully aware of what was going on, she leaned in close to his ear and whispered, “Good-bye Kili. I love you.”

At the last second she switched and said it in Sindarin, which was ironic on a thousand levels, because she was a coward after all and then she stepped back and got in the boat and they were leaving; leaving Lake-town, leaving some of her friends, leaving her heart.

She didn’t look back until they had started going around a bend leading out into the lake.

The streets were still lined with people cheering them on, noise rising around them on all sides.

Fili and Oin were clustered on either side of Kili, talking to one another past him.

Kili was staring directly at her, intensity in his eyes that she’d never seen before and that sent a shudder right through her.

The thought that he might actually understand Sindarin passed through her mind for just a moment but she dismissed it.

Thorin hated elves. There was no way he ever would have taught his nephews to speak their language.

She broke eye contact, one of the hardest things she’d ever done, and turned away.

He hadn’t understood her and, even if he had, it didn’t matter.

He saw her as a friend, a close one to be sure, but a friend nonetheless.

Just that.

And nothing more.

 

***

 

Smaug was most certainly a furnace with wings.

He was also pompous, arrogant, suffered from delusions of grandeur and was an absolute and total smartass.

Oh, and he adored the sound of his own voice. Seriously, the dragon would Not. Shut. Up.

Really, he didn't need to have attacked Erebor. He could have just sat at the gate and talked and the dwarves would have eventually fled from a desire to preserve their own sanity.

Of course, she never would have known any of these things, or been forced to endure them, had she not managed to  _wake him up._

Damn it.

So much for her being able to sneak in, get the Arkenstone and sneak out again. Though, in her defense, how had Thorin managed to forget the sheer size of the stupid Treasury?

Did he just think she’d waltz in and the Arkenstone would be decent enough to be right there waiting for them?

He was a Durin, her mind supplied immediately, of course he did.

The fact that, in the end, Smaug uncovered the Arkenstone and kicked it right to her feet was entirely beside the point.

She got it though and was able to stick it in a pocket and not get roasted in the process so that was a definite plus.

Not getting roasted was always a plus.

It was also very flattering that Thorin and the others thought enough of her to come charging in with their swords drawn to try and save her. Given that their first reaction upon seeing Smaug was to run away as fast as possible, however, made her wonder just what their plan had been past the whole heroic charge thing.

Knowing Thorin as she’d come to it was highly likely that had _been_ the entire plan. Who knows, perhaps he’d thought Smaug would just roll over and die upon being confronted by Thorin’s sheer majesty and kingly aura.

Honestly, she would not be the least bit surprised.

So then there was a lot of running and screaming, which they were all quite experienced at by that point, and trying very hard not to get burned alive. Then Thorin just had to go and mouth off to the dragon because he was a Durin and she was pretty sure it was written in their blood somewhere that they had to do something idiotic at least once a week or else be disowned from the line.

Thorin usually did idiotic things more often than that because he was an overachiever and probably felt he needed to be an example for his younger, impressionable nephews.

Granted he _did_ have a plan for once.

An insane, incredibly reckless plan that relied more on luck and the dragon’s willingness to walk into it more than anything else but, still, she was proud of him.

Unfortunately, in the end, his plan proved about as good as her barrel plan.

Actually, scratch that.

 _Her_ plan had worked.

His did not.

If he’d explained it to her she might have been able to mention the fact the dragon could breathe fire might be suggestive of him being able to resist all things hot, including molten gold.

As it was it simply resulted in more yelling and terror and then…

And then.

And then she had to watch as the dragon she’d awakened shot into the air and soared off to Lake-town.

Where an entire populace slept unaware.

Where her friends were.

Where Kili was.

The dwarf she loved.

Who she hadn’t had the courage to confess to in a language he could understand.

And all she could do was watch as the dragon burned them all to ash.

 

***

 

It was strange how silent death could be.

She doubted it was quiet in Lake-town. She could imagine the screams, the terror, the smell of smoke and the heat of the flames.

From where they stood all they could see was the flicker of light and the shadow as Smaug flew back and forth burning down the town.

Bilba couldn’t breathe. Her entire body was rigid, tears streaming unchecked down her face and every time she tried to inhale the breath seemed to catch in her chest and turn into a gasping sob.

Finally Nori grabbed her and physically turned her away from the scene of carnage, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close. She wrapped her arms around him, buried her face against him and tried to pretend Kili, Fili, Bofur, Oin and the residents of Lake-town weren’t lying dead behind her.

She wasn’t sure who shouted about the dragon falling but she jerked away from Nori and turned just in time to see the dragon vanish from the sky entirely.

He did not rise again.

Bilba turned to face Nori, “What does that mean? Why’d he fall?”

Nori’s face was grave as he looked past her. “It means someone isn’t dead and they just took him down.”

Bilba gave a shuddering breath and reached up to wipe the tears off her face. “Do you think it was Kili?”

She already knew it was unlikely. He’d been ill and without his weapons. He also wasn’t the only archer in Lake-town. Bard had been one and undoubtedly there had been others as well.

Nori gave her a tight smile and said, “Of course it was Kili. Who else would it have been?”

He was a terrible liar.

But she still appreciated it.

She looked back at Lake-town, watching the long columns of smoke twist up into the air.

“Please be okay,” she found herself whispering. “Please.”

 

***

 

One of the Valar had mercy on her because, several days of not eating or sleeping later, Kili, Fili, Bofur and Oin strode through the gates of Erebor.

She wasn’t there. Thorin, who was acting more moody and grumpy than normal, had everyone in the Treasury searching for the Arkenstone.

Since she had it in her pocket she felt the best place for her was as far from the Treasury as possible.

She didn’t know why she didn’t give it to him other than he just wasn’t acting…right.

He hadn’t watched the dragon burn Lake-town, had expressed no concern at all for the fate of his nephews, had refused to let any of them go back and find out if they were okay.

He wasn’t acting like himself and so she kept the Arkenstone and waited to see what would happen.

It was as she was wandering one of the upper halls that she heard Fili’s voice calling out and she probably ran faster than she ever had before until she found them and threw herself into Fili’s arms so hard she actually managed to knock him back a step or two.

He laughed and swung her around and then Bofur was there and then Oin…and then Kili.

Kili who was bright eyed and had a healthy glow to his skin and who was walking straight and tall without even a hint of pain.

“Bilba,” he whispered and then his arms were sliding around her and he hugged her and it would have been perfect if they could have frozen in that one moment.

Seriously, _that_ moment, because the next moment had her pulling back and asking, “Kili, you’re better! What happened?”

It was a stupid, stupid question to ask.

Because that was when she found out the redheaded elven women, whose name was _Tauriel_ , had apparently shown up and personally healed him.

“You should have seen it,” Bofur said, “She had her hands on his leg and started chanting and then she started glowing--”

She started _glowing_?

Well, of _course_ she did.

After all she was already an elf and gorgeous and a warrior and heroic and apparently had made it a habit of saving people so of course _the woman glowed because why wouldn’t she?_

Her mother had always said jealousy was unbecoming and Bilba knew, deep down, she was right but still…

It just wasn’t _fair_.

She stepped away from Kili and forced herself to tell him how happy she was, and she was, happy he and the others were well even if she wasn’t excited by the method, and then she told them where Thorin was and turned to lead the way before anything else could be said about the great Taur-i-freaking-l and her amazing amazingness.

Kili tried to walk beside her but she sped up, unwilling and currently unable to be the friend he wanted at that moment. Eventually, perhaps, but not then, not that moment.

Not when her heart was bleeding.

Maybe later.

But not right then.

 

***

 

She avoided Kili after that, darting away any time she so much as spotted him.

Several times he called out to her, trying to get her attention, but she fled, losing herself easily in the vast halls and corridors of the mountain.

It was foolish, probably cowardly, but she simply couldn’t bring herself to be around him, not yet.

In a strange way it was almost a relief when Thorin started acting like a lunatic. It gave her something else to focus on.

He grew more and more irrational, insisting they block the gate and rejecting Bard’s attempts to reason with him.

Gandalf arrived and, as she’d always had faith in him, Bilba decided to take the Arkenstone and give it to him.

He would know what to do, of that she had no doubt.

She ended up seeing Bard again and met, for the first time, the elven king, Thranduil.

Of Tauriel she saw no sign for which she was grateful as she doubted she could find it in her to be civil to the other woman. It wasn’t fair, she knew. She had no claim on Kili. Tauriel had done no wrong, had saved him, in fact, and she owed the woman gratitude for that.

But her heart was not at all interested in listening to her mind and with the pain so fresh the last thing she wanted to have to do was pretend to be civil to the woman who’d stolen Kili from her.

Even if Kili had never been hers to begin with.

 

***

 

She returned to Erebor, probably not the best decision, but she couldn’t help the feeling she was fast approaching the final time she would ever see Kili and she so wanted to see him again.

Bard wasted no time in using the Arkenstone, however, and all she ended up seeing of Kili was his back as he stood between her and Thorin when the irrational monarch tried to throw her over the battlements.

The rest of the Company surged forward to drag Thorin back and then Kili was grabbing her arm and pushing her toward the rope she’d used to leave Erebor in the first place.

“Go,” he ordered, “I’ll handle him and come get you later.”

She nodded shakily.

Kili opened his mouth as if to say something else but Thorin roared something behind him, fighting against his own Company, getting in Fili's face as the blond prince stood in front of him, and Kili swore under his breath.

“I’ll talk to you later,” he said. He hugged her and then she was over the edge and scrambling down the rope.

As her feet hit the ground she looked up and saw Kili leaning over the edge, watching her.

It was odd, she thought. He almost looked as distraught as she felt.

 

***

 

Battle was terrifying, particularly when there was nowhere to go for safety.

Originally it had been very possible the fight would take place between the elves, dwarves and men. Bilba had feared if this happened it would break any chance the three groups had of ever becoming allies. Given how close they lived to one another that would be a devastating thing indeed. She didn’t wish to see Erebor reclaimed only to watch the dwarves in constant conflict with their neighbors.

So, it was almost a good thing that a massive army of orcs chose that moment to arrive. At the very least, it united the three groups into a cohesive front fighting for survival.

Dain’s army, which had arrived only moments before the orcs, led the charge with the elves coming up behind. The Men primarily stayed in Dale trying to protect the women and children.

Thorin and the rest of the Company stayed locked away in Erebor.

Bilba felt ashamed on their behalf. She had no doubt it was Thorin they obeyed. None of them were cowards. Not even Thorin but he was currently in lunatic mode so perhaps he could be forgiven, a little.

A very little.

She didn’t have much time to dedicate to her feelings about Thorin and the Company as the orcs invaded Dale. For a short period of time she and the other women and children were able to take shelter in a large building. She wasn’t sure what it had been but was more than happy to go in and not die.

Then one of the women decided all of them should be out getting themselves killed, training or not, and she was pretty much forced back outside. In their rush to go get skewered by orcs the women busted one of the doors making it impossible to lock and return to protecting those of them who were not trained, not experienced and not particularly enthusiastic about dying.

Rude.

So Bilba ended up outside again, where orcs were running wildly through the streets, all of them significantly larger than she was. Also, as it turned out, Balin had probably been right when he called her sword a letter opener because it neither had the length, nor did she have the strength or power, to do much more than piss orcs off.

She _really_ pissed them off. She half suspected they were insulted.

Who knew orcs got insulted?

Well, she did. Maybe she’d write a book on it in the future, if she survived, and warn future generations.

For the moment she would simply settle for running very fast.

It was as she was in the process of running that it occurred to her she had a ring that made her invisible.

She would not mention that small oversight in her book, or out loud, or ever.

Ducking behind a doorway, she fished it out and shoved it on her finger. Instantly the world greyed out and, a moment later, the orcs chasing her raced past.

Bilba stayed behind them and kept moving, dodging as needed since being invisible did not make one invulnerable to a lucky strike.

She made it to one of the walls and, as such, was perfectly positioned to see Thorin and the Company make a dramatic exit from Erebor.

Thorin did so like being dramatic and he rather overdid himself in this instance as a giant bell burst through the gates with a great, deep bong sound and then vanished back inside as the Company rushed out.

She half wondered if part of their speed wasn’t an attempt to outrun the bell before it came back and flattened them, thus ruining their exit.

Her eyes found Kili running behind Thorin and her heart jumped in her throat. She moved forward, wedging herself under a shelf of rock and out of the battle as her eyes tracked him. She lost sight of them for a while and then suddenly saw Fili, Kili, Thorin and Dwalin reappear, mounted on giant ram things that had appeared from who knew where. As she watched the four headed toward the large ruined tower where Azog had been directing the battle.

She was not sure how Azog had gotten up there unseen and freaking posted giant flags with no one noticing but was quite convinced whoever was supposed to be watching for such things should be fired.

If they didn't get killed by orcs first.

A chill breeze wrapped around her, causing her to shiver. The din of battle raged, screams of the injured and dying, the clang of metal upon metal and the sharp tang of blood over everything.

Bilba shivered again and not from the cold. She slid out from her small area and ran back down into the thick of fighting in Dale. She hadn’t made it far before she saw Gandalf striding along the street. There was a blond elf walking on one side of him and, on the other…

Bilba flinched at the sight of the redheaded elf, Tauriel.

At least she wasn't _glowing_.

She and the blond were talking intensely to Gandalf and, without thinking, Bilba pulled her ring off.

“Gandalf? What’s going on?”

Gandalf looked at her, startled. The two elves did as well.

Tauriel wasn't the only one who could do interesting things, Bilba thought with only a tiny amount of smugness.

Just a teeny, tiny, amount.

Honest.

“Bilba Baggins,” Gandalf said, “What are you doing out here?”

“What does it matter?” Bilba asked sharply. “What’s going on?”

He told her. There was a second army, coming from the very direction Thorin and the others had headed.

Bilba staggered, her eyes going wide as pure horror thrummed through her. “Kili,” she whispered without thinking and saw Tauriel look at her sharply.

“Kili? What about him?”

Her voice was musical and lilting because of course it was.

Bilba didn’t answer her.

She didn’t have time.

She slid the ring on, barely hearing their surprised shouts or Gandalf shouting for her to wait.

She couldn’t wait.

 _Kili_ could not wait.

She ran.

 

***

 

She was exhausted by the time she reached the watch tower. Her lungs burned and her breath came in short, ragged gasps.

A light fog rolled over the area, partially hiding the tower from view. It was silent, too silent, no sign of Azog or the orcs that had been with him.

She saw Thorin and Dwalin standing with their backs to her.

There was no sign of Fili or Kili.

No. No. No. No.

She knew where they were, where they had to be.

She blew past Thorin and Dwalin, her invisible passing causing them both to jerk in surprise.

“It’s a trap!” She called back. “Thorin, it’s a trap! There’s a second army coming!”

The tower came into focus in front of her and she ran through the door and found herself facing stairs leading both up and down.

There was no time to think about it.

“Eru, help me,” she prayed. Then she drew her sword and, obeying her instincts, went up.

She heard voices as she reached the top, deep guttural voices. She rounded a corner and saw a large, circular room. Part of the wall had been destroyed and a cluster of orcs were there, looking out. In the center she saw Azog, holding someone close.

A flash of blond hair.

He had Fili.

He was taunting Thorin.

He didn’t just have Fili.

He was going to kill him.

Bilba saw his arm go back, a jagged blade shoved into the stump.

She couldn’t kill Azog, not with the sword she held or the strength she possessed.

That was okay.

She’d settle for pissing him off.

She flew between the orcs, shoving them aside as she did. They weren’t expecting her and so weren’t set to resist her passing.

She drove her sword as hard and fast as she could, straight into Azog’s backside.

It was disgusting and she’d probably have to get rid of the sword entirely after that, because who wanted to use a sword that had been in an orc’s nether regions, but it was effective.

Azog roared in pain, jerking away and instinctively releasing Fili.

Bilba wrenched her ring off and shoved her sword into his hands. They were still surrounded by orcs, still shoved up against the edge of a very long drop and her sword was still far too small but it was more of a chance than they’d had.

Fortunately, Fili was more than up to the task.

He didn’t waste even a second on her sudden appearance.

In one move that he made look easy, he shoved her behind him and then drove the point of her sword into the throat of the nearest orc, thus making it effective even with its smaller size.

She hadn’t thought of doing that.

She totally could have done that.

Damn it.

Suddenly Azog was there again, rage contorting his features even more than they normally were.

Bilba screamed as he loomed over them, his blade arm thing raised over his head as he lunged at them in a nearly blind fury.

Fili shoved back, forcing her with him. Bilba grabbed him, anchoring herself.

Azog stumbled right past them and over the edge.

That was unexpected.

Fili had already twisted back around to face the room again. He sent the sword into the gut of an advancing orc and turned again as another came at them.

Too many, Bilba thought, too, too many. There were just too many.

One of them got in a lucky shot, opening a gash on Fili’s arm and she screamed out “Fili!” in horror as blood spurted from the wound.

A roar of rage sounded from the doorway and, for an instant, Bilba was terrified that Azog had returned.

Fili gave no reaction and, a second later, Bilba saw why as Kili charged into the fray, his sword flashing.

His sword was so much _better_ than hers.

He had Fili’s sword in his other hand, grabbed from wherever the orcs had thrown it after capturing him.

It was too bad he couldn’t have grabbed all of Fili’s weapons. Bilba knew how much he loved his knives. He’d be pissed that he lost them.

Kili threw the sword, the weapon arching over the heads of the orcs.

Fili caught it easily and gleefully disemboweled an orc. He double wielded her blade with his own, coming at the orcs from the front while Kili moved in from the back, catching the creatures in an effective pincer movement from both sides.

A few minutes later the room was silent. Fili and Kili were both breathing hard and Fili was still bleeding, but they were alive and the orcs weren’t so Bilba called it a win in her book.

Kili strode forward and grabbed her hand, pulling her forward. “You shouldn’t be here. It isn’t safe.”

“Nowhere is,” Bilba said. “Dale is overrun and there’s a second army on its way.”

That stopped both of them.

“What?” Fili asked.

“Second army,” Bilba repeated. “It’s almost here and it’s coming from this direction.”

“Well of course it is,” Kili muttered. “Where else would it be coming from?”

See, it wasn't just her that had noticed how badly their luck sucked.

He adjusted his grip, intertwining his fingers with hers almost without seeming to notice he’d done so.

Bilba noticed.

She really, _really_ noticed.

Fili put a hand on the small of her back, gently urging her forward and Bilba obeyed, following behind Kili as they headed back down and out the door of the tower.

Once there they found out why Thorin and Dwalin had never come to back them up.

The second army wasn’t on its way, it was there.

Bilba ducked as a long stream of giant bats flew over her head. Fili and Kili crouched low with her, watching as the creatures soared off into the distance.

In front of them Dwalin was squaring off against a large group of goblin mercenaries.

She saw no sign of Thorin.

She also saw no sign of Azog. She'd really hoped the orc would die after falling from a really high tower and hitting the ground but there was no sign of a corpse.

So unfair. She was pretty sure one of _them_ could have died tripping on a loose floorboard but a giant orc with a bizarre and more than slightly irrational grudge could fall from a tower onto ice and not even end up knocked unconscious.

Maybe they should have foregone having a hobbit in the Company and hired an orc.

They'd probably have had far better luck.

“Can you go invisible again?” Fili asked.

Kili looked at him in confusion. “Can she what?”

“I can,” Bilba responded instantly.

“Okay,” Fili pushed her lightly against the wall of the tower, “do it and stay here. You should be safe.”

Bilba nodded. Her eyes flickered toward Kili. He hesitated and then started to take a step forward.

“Bilba, I need to--”

Behind them Dwalin gave a shout of pain.

“We have to go!” Fili shouted. He moved as he said it, breaking into a run toward Dwalin.

Kili looked beyond frustrated. He looked away and swore, very creatively.

She was impressed.

He cast one more look at her and then turned and followed his brother. As he reached the mercenaries she saw him lop off the head of the first one with an aggression that made her decide right then and there to never piss him off.

Or be a goblin which, of course, was unlikely so she was probably fine on that front.

She got her ring out again and put it on. She settled against the wall and readied her sword, just in case she needed to piss any orcs or goblins off again.

She was really good at pissing orcs and goblins off.

It was nice to have a talent.

And then she watched her dwarves as they fought.

She watched Kili, as she always did.

And she waited.

 

***

 

Time passed.

The goblin mercenaries were dealt with but orcs arrived to take their place.

Dwalin and Fili peeled off, vanishing into different areas as they chased, or were chased by, orcs.

Kili didn’t leave.

Instead he fought closer, and closer still to the tower, eventually ending up on a nearby staircase. He looked tired and had several small cuts and injuries but his arm was still strong, his eyes sure.

He fought with an intensity she’d never seen from him before, not when the trolls had tried to eat them or even with the spiders.

She understood. His brother and uncle were out there, in who knew what condition. He was no doubt worried for them, not to mention the rest of the Company.

“Kili!” a voice suddenly shouted. “Kili!”

Bilba went rigid, her hands tightening on the hilt of her sword.

Tauriel.

She stepped away from the wall and looked around the corner.

Indeed the woman was there, frantically looking around and calling Kili’s name.

Bilba wanted to slap her.

Didn’t she know she was simply drawing attention to herself? Even _she_ knew well enough to stay silent and invisible. Not to mention her yelling could well distract Kili and cause him to make a mistake. She risked a look over her shoulder and saw him fighting two orcs on a small landing halfway up the stairs. He hadn’t responded to Tauriel’s calls, probably because he was concentrating on the orcs trying to kill him and not the stupid elf woman who was in love with him.

Tauriel screamed suddenly.

Bilba whirled around and saw her picking herself up off the ground.

Had she fallen?

Then a shadow fell over her and Bilba saw a massive orc reaching down to grab her. For a split second she thought it was Azog but then she saw him clearer and realized the orc had metal shoved into its ribs and other areas.

What was it with orcs shoving metal in their bodies?

The orc’s hand closed around Tauriel’s throat and lifted her completely off the ground, her feet dangling in the air. Bilba watched as she struggled to free herself, her hands slapping usually at the orc’s arm and clawing at the hands on her throat. She’d dropped her sword and though Bilba could see a dagger at her waist the other woman was clearly too panicked to think of it.

Bilba didn’t like the woman, was incredibly jealous of her in fact.

But that didn’t mean she wanted her to die.

“Hey!” she shouted. “Let her go, jackass!”

The orc jerked, turning to look in her direction but, of course, it couldn’t see her.

Bilba ran forward and stabbed the orc in the back of the knee.

With all the metal the orc had shoved in its body, one would think it'd have bothered with some covering it's more vital parts.

it hadn’t though, probably because it was an orc and an idiot, and her sword sank in with a squelch that turned her stomach.

The fact such a move had worked the first time with Azog probably made her a little over confident. It didn’t really occur to her that the sword in the orc's knee gave the creature a pretty good idea of where she was, invisible or not.

Pain exploded through her and suddenly she was flying through the air. She barely managed to scream before she hit the side of the tower, pain bursting through her back. She hit the ground hard and curled in on herself. Her breath had been knocked out of her and she gagged, struggling to get it back.

She didn’t know what happened for a few minutes after that. There was a lot of yelling and a blur of colors.

When things finally cleared, she looked up, and instantly lost her breath again.

Tauriel had been knocked down, again.

Several feet away, at the base of another staircase, the orc had its back to her. It was hunched over; because it had Kili bent back over its leg and was holding a sword over him, preparing to drive it into his chest.

Bilba lunged to her feet, pure adrenaline allowing her to temporarily overcome the current weakness in her body. She grabbed the edge of the stair railing, dragged herself up and jumped on the orc’s back.

It roared in surprise, automatically rearing back to try and throw her off. Bilba wrapped her arms around its neck and held on.

Kili rolled off its leg, landing on his hands and pushing to his feet.

The world swung wildly as Bilba found herself suddenly dragged off and held in the air, its hand around her throat.

Didn’t the thing have any other moves aside from choking victims to death?

“Bilba!” Kili shouted. “I can’t see you!”

He couldn’t hit the orc without risking harming her, Bilba realized.

Blackness was eating at her vision but she grabbed her hand and jerked the ring off.

The orc jerked suddenly and Bilba fell.

She landed on her hands and knees, gasping and desperately sucking in great draughts of air.

Next to her, the orc was laying on its back, its hands over a gaping wound in its stomach. Kili stepped up and put a foot on its chest, bracing himself, and drove his sword through its throat.

Poetic justice, that.

Kili knelt next to her and Bilba willingly hung onto him as he helped her to her feet.

“Thank you,” she managed to get out. She patted his chest. “Thank you.”

She started to pull away from him, assuming he’d want to go to Tauriel who was standing a few feet away.

Kili made an aggravated sound and suddenly an arm slid around her waist, dragging her back up against his body. “Not this time.”

And then he kissed her.

 

***

 

Bilba had to run the words through her head four times before coming to the conclusion that, yes; they did say what she thought they said.

Kili kissed her.

Was _still_ kissing her in fact.

He pulled away and pressed his forehead to hers. Bilba instinctively put a hand on his chest, staring at him in shock.

When Kili spoke his voice was intense and Bilba decided immediately that she rather liked intense Kili quite a lot. “You said you loved me but every time I tried to say it back something got in the way. It was frustrating.”

Bilba stared at him, her mind utterly refusing to help her because it was a dirty, rotten traitorous bastard.

“You aren’t supposed to be able to speak Sindarin,” she blurted because, yes, that was what she should focus on in this whole thing.

He grinned. “Relying on an interpreter to get things right in a negotiation is a good way to end up accidentally losing part of your kingdom, or inadvertently agreeing to marry someone. Fili, Uncle and I all speak multiple languages.” He shrugged. "Not to mention there's no way to guarantee we'd never have to deal with elves and the last thing Uncle would ever want to do is rely on an elf to be in interpreter."

Bilba also had a sneaking suspicion that Thorin simply enjoyed being able to eavesdrop on elves without them realizing he understood them.

It sounded like something he would do.

“Oh,” She said lamely.

He hadn’t really kissed her, right? Or said he loved her?

She must have hit her head when she landed, or maybe he had.

Possibly both of them had.

“You don’t like hobbit women,” she said now, patiently, even as a tremor ran through her. “You like elven women.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Do I?”

Then, before she could say that, yes, he really did, he kissed her again, this time with a passion that quite frankly left her rather weak in the knees.

When he broke away, looking quite pleased with himself, it took her a few minutes to get her breathing back under control. When she had he gave her a questioning look. “Well?”

“Alright,” Bilba conceded. “It’s possible you might like hobbit women as well.”

“Not all of them,” Kili said with a grin. “Just one.”

Bilba, meanwhile, was slowly transitioning from she was dreaming to, dear Eru this was actually happening. As she did a smile began to stretch across her face completely on its own, eventually ending up so wide it was actually somewhat painful.

Of course it was about that time she remembered Tauriel was still standing right there.

She turned her head and saw the other woman watching them. Rather than upset or angry, however, the woman looked pleased.

Kili too looked over and also seemed to remember Tauriel was there. “Sorry,” he said, his voice embarrassed. “I suppose this isn’t exactly the time or place.”

“It rarely is,” Tauriel replied, “but from what you told me of her, I can understand.” She smiled at Bilba. “I was looking forward to meeting you. You’re all he talked about in Mirkwood.” Her eyes flickered to Kili. "I knew she was on her way here. I was trying to find you," She grinned at Bilba, "though it looks like you didn't need my help or Kili's."

Bilba was still caught on the first part of her statement. “I was all he talked about?” Bilba said in surprise. She frowned at him. “You told her about me?”

So much for the element of surprise.

“I did,” Kili admitted. “I was scared to death you’d been hurt, or worse. I wanted Tauriel to find you and I told her that if I saw you again I was going to make sure you knew how I felt, but of course you had to go and beat me to it and then--”

He trailed off in a frustrated sound and Bilba laughed. She was still grinning like an idiot but didn’t particularly care.

Tauriel nodded at Kili. “I’ll give you a few minutes.”

With that she vanished around the corner of the tower, her sword drawn.

“Since when?” Bilba couldn’t help but ask when he was looking at her again. “I was convinced you thought I was a crazy person who wanted to kill you in your sleep.”

“Oh, I absolutely did,” Kili said matter of fact. His eyes darkened for a moment. “As you may have heard I’m not exactly popular among the women in the Blue Mountains, what few there are. Many were willing to ‘accept’ my deficiencies so long as they had access to my rank, and eventual fortune if we successfully retook Erebor but--” He hesitated and then said. “Let’s just say I was used to women staring at me, mainly because they were trying to figure out what elf my mother had slept with in order to get me.”

His jaw tightened as he said it and Bilba flinched.

“Fili and I got in a lot of fights,” he continued. “Anyway, you were watching me every time I looked over and then you suddenly stopped looking at me altogether and it was clear you were avoiding me--”

Bilba felt her perspective shift, seeing it from his point of view instead of her own.

He tightened his grip around her waist. “Nori was the one who pointed out to Fili that different cultures might have different views on beauty and that your actions could just as well be infatuation as anything else.”

Bilba moved her arms and wrapped them around his waist, making a mental note to thank Nori later, and maybe offer to cook him his favorite food for the rest of his life.

“So that’s what Fili was doing when he was on watch with me after the goblin tunnels?” She asked. “Trying to find out if Nori was right?”

“He was,” Kili agreed, “I’ll confess I didn’t fall in love with you in return immediately. Knowing how you felt, however, made it easier to spend time around you, to take the time to get to know you.”

Because he knew she wasn’t rejecting him.

From beyond the tower the sounds of fighting grew louder and she suppressed a sigh. They’d already been there several minutes and she had no doubt time grew short.

Kili clearly knew it too, his eyes darting to the corner and back to her again.

“It wasn’t hard after that,” he said, his eyes locked on her, “Tauriel wanted me to describe you and I ended up telling her about your willingness to leave everything to help people you didn’t even know, your perseverance, loyalty, courage--”

"The fact I liked to stare at you like a crazy person," Bilba cut in dryly.

Kili laughed. "Well, nobody's perfect."

Bilba snorted and buried her face against his chest for a moment.

Kili continued. "Tauriel said you sounded like an amazing woman and I was lucky to have you. She was right. I think I’d been falling in love with you for a while already but it was at that point I realized it had gone far past simply falling.” He took a deep breath. “I love you, Bilba Baggins." He gave a smile very close to the one he'd given her the first time she'd met him on her doorstep. She responded by throwing her arms around his neck and dragging him down to kiss her.

He pulled back eventually and grabbed her hand, lifting it to press a kiss to her palm.

Then, with a determined look, he stepped back and drew his sword. “Stay back here, alright? Put your ring on and keep out of sight. I’ll return soon.”

Bilba nodded, backing away to press against the tower wall. “Be safe.”

“Always am,” Kili said with a grin.

That was a total lie and Bilba knew it. Kili was nearly as reckless as Thorin, which was reckless indeed, but hopefully he’d managed to rein it in just enough to not die on her.

An instant later he was gone, vanishing around the corner and back into the thick of battle.

Bilba slid her ring on but left her sword in its sheath.

She shut her eyes and spent several long minutes praying to Yavanna, Mahal and Eru for the safety of Kili and the rest of the Company.

She probably should have prayed for her own as well but, as they say, hindsight is twenty-twenty.

An odd shriek caused her to open her eyes again and she looked up just in time to see an eagle, nearly black from giant bats hanging off it, crash out of control into the tower over her head.

The really old tower that had already been partially destroyed by a dragon and then left abandoned for over a century.

One minute she was looking up at a clear, blue sky.

The next all she saw was a wall of rubble coming down straight at her.

 

***

 

Everything _hurt_.

Bilba opened her eyes sluggishly, frowning at the shelf of rock over her head in confusion.

What happened?

She remembered the battle…and Kili…she could never forget Kili…

Oh, right, the eagle…and then the tower…

Oooohhhhh, right, she remembered now.

She’d lunged to the side at the last second. The area upon which the tower was built was not smooth but had levels and ridges. The tower was built on the highest area, part of it right near the edge leading to a lower level and that ledge was what she’d leapt over.

It jutted out somewhat, creating a natural outcropping she’d managed to roll under just as some of the rubble had come over after her.

Most of it had missed her but given how badly she hurt she’d clearly not run quite fast enough.

Slowly, and carefully, she pushed to a sitting position. Sharp pain lanced along her side and back and she gasped, hunching over and gritting her teeth. Shakily, she put a hand to her side and immediately suppressed a whimper at the sharp pain.

Cracked or broken ribs. Not something she’d ever particularly wanted to personally experience. Her head felt wet and her hands came away red tinged, explaining why her head hurt so much.

She sighed.

She was tired.

She slid her hand through the dirt and crawled out from under the outcropping. Broken stone and bits of splintered wood surrounded the area and she picked her way through and over it. The rubble was actually a good thing as it gave her a way to support herself as she moved.

When she finally got out and straightened, she nearly fell as a wave of dizziness washed over her.

She shut her eyes and focused on breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth.

It was really quiet. She opened her eyes and turned to face the tower.

What was left of it, anyway. More than half had collapsed entirely. The area where she’d been standing was gone, covered by wreckage.

She couldn’t hear any sounds of fighting coming from up there anymore, no shouts or clangs of sword meeting sword. There was a slight whistling of wind as it moved through the remnants of the tower but, other than that, nothing.

Bilba shivered and wrapped her arms around herself.

How long had she been unconscious? What had happened to Kili and the others? Was the battle still happening?

She couldn’t get back up the way she’d come down. Even if she felt up to climbing, she’d have to clamber over rubble or through the probably very unstable remnants of the tower.

So another way down it was then.

She drew her sword, to use as a crutch more than anything else, and started shambling slowly. At some point it occurred to her the world was still greyed out and she realized she was still wearing her ring.

She didn’t take it off; it’d be too much trouble she decided.

The area she wandered through had once housed more buildings, possibly barracks or training grounds for the soldiers who manned the tower. Most had long since fallen leaving nothing but bits of wall, creating a jagged, uneven maze she meandered through.

At some point a sound started to permeate the haze in her mind. An odd thunking, crunching noise.

It was like…she frowned, trying to place the noise. It was like…someone breaking ice?

Why would someone be breaking ice?

She stumbled forward, the point of her sword dragging. Her other hand lightly trailed along the skeletons of buildings, sometimes pushing lightly off them as her balance swayed and her legs threatened to give way beneath her.

Finally she rounded a wall and found herself on the bank of a really wide river.

A really wide, really frozen river.

Frozen, frozen, frozen.

Bilba giggled, unsure why she thought that was so funny but finding it funny nonetheless.

There were two figures in the middle of the ice. One was Azog. Apparently being stabbed in the backside was not affecting him nearly as much as she would have hoped. Still, as he moved, she could see red coating the back of his leg, all the way up to his waist.

She wondered if she’d get a title for that. Thorin got one for chopping Azog’s hand off. Did she get one for stabbing him in an embarrassing location?

If so, she hoped it’d be a good nickname, not something stupid.

Speaking of Thorin…her eyes tracked listlessly to the other figure and found it was the King under the Mountain himself.

She saw him dodge and that sound came again. Azog had a long spiked ball on a chain and was swinging it at Thorin who was dodging it easily.

Of course he was. Who used a ball on a chain against a single opponent? Azog telegraphed every move. Not to mention the ball got stuck in the ice with every swing, leaving the orc completely open and defenseless to a return blow by Thorin.

Speaking of which, why wasn’t Thorin giving a return blow?

Thorin reached down suddenly and picked up the spiked ball. As Bilba watched, he tossed it at Azog and stepped back.

A second later the entire shelf of ice Azog had been on, that the orc apparently helpfully broken free from the rest of the frozen river, tipped up and dumped said orc into the water.

Oh, Bilba thought, that was why Thorin hadn’t been returning the blows.

He was being spiteful.

Vertigo washed over her and she swayed and blinked rapidly as the world blurred. When it cleared again Thorin was walking along the ice, his eyes fixed on it.

Bilba stumbled forward onto the ice and began heading in his direction. She wanted to not be there anymore. Thorin could help her not be there anymore. Granted, Thorin had been very unhappy with her the last time she’d seen him but perhaps he’d gotten over that? Kili had said he would take care of it.

She trusted Kili.

She’d nearly reached them when a blade suddenly sprouted from Thorin’s boot, the metal gleaming in the sunlight.

For a second, Bilba thought she was hallucinating. Then Thorin’s head went back and he screamed in pain, his hands clenching into fists at his side.

Probably not dreaming then.

The ice exploded and, before she’d even processed what was going on, Thorin was flat on his back with Azog straddling him. Thorin had his sword up, blocking Azog’s sword arm thing as the orc attempted to drive the blade into Thorin’s chest.

Well, that just wouldn’t do, Bilba thought dully through the haze of pain in her head. She needed Thorin to help her.

Dead Thorin was not a helpful Thorin.

Granted _live_ Thorin was not always a helpful Thorin but he was certainly better than a dead one.

She stumbled forward, lifted a sword that shook in her hand and felt like it weighed a ton, and stabbed it weakly into the side of Azog’s throat.

Fili had fantastic ideas. She must remember to thank him for the throat stabbing one.

Maybe she'd make him a cake. A nice yellow one with lemon frosting.

Did Fili like lemon frosting?

She would have to ask him.

His thank you cake should have frosting he liked.

Blood bloomed under the tip of her blade and Azog roared, instinctively rearing up and back.

That action gave Thorin enough leverage to shove up and punch the orc in the exact same spot, hard.

Bilba stumbled back and watched as Thorin reversed his and Azog’s positions and, without hesitation, stabbed Orcrist through the orc’s chest.

Yay for Thorin, she thought vaguely and proceed to turn and absently stagger away, toward the edge where the frozen river plunged over the side and ran down to rejoin the river in the valley far below.

It occurred to her that she was still wearing the ring and Thorin couldn’t help her when she was invisible.

She allowed her sword to drop from her fingers, sending it clattering to the ice. Weakly she pulled the ring off her finger and shoved it into her pocket. The world snapped into brilliant, bright focus and she staggered to a stop, which was a good thing as she’d arrived at the edge and she'd almost managed to stagger right over it.

Far below she could see the battle still raging. She couldn’t be sure but it looked like there were far fewer orcs than there were dwarves, men and elves.

So they were winning.

That was good. Winning was good.

She swayed, her body going weak and started to fall.

This was not good, as she was standing on the edge of a very long drop.

Strong arms grabbed her and pulled her back. She ended up sitting with Thorin crouched beside her, his arms around her and supporting her.

“I’d prefer my reign not be ended by Kili murdering me for failing to save you,” he said dryly. “What happened?”

“Ask the eagle,” Bilba mumbled.

He frowned. “What?”

Bilba frowned, considering. “Though I think he’s dead so he may not be helpful. Dead things are not helpful things.”

That amused her and she giggled. Then she decided Thorin looked very comfortable so she curled against him, resting her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes.

“Bilba,” Thorin said, “Bilba. I’m sorry. My actions at the gate…they were reprehensible. I would do anything to take them back. You were only doing what any friend would do.”

Bilba managed to reach her hand up and patted him on the chest and mumbled that she forgave him.

Hobbits were very forgiving creatures after all. It was the proper and respectable thing to do and she was nothing if not respectable and proper, for someone who’d run off with a bunch of strangers to retake a foreign kingdom from a dragon.

Eh, close enough.

She heard Thorin talking to her again but she was really tired and her head hurt.

He moved and she felt an arm sliding under her legs while another went around her back.

Bilba relaxed and allowed herself to drift into unconsciousness.

Maybe she’d hurt less when she woke up.

Maybe Kili would be there.

That would be nice.

 

***

 

She did hurt less when she woke up.

There was still a dull, throbbing ache in her head and her chest was sore but there was a thick mattress underneath her and a heavy blanket over her and it felt so good she nearly drifted off again.

It was the feel of a hand on top of hers and something lying over her legs that kept her from doing so. She opened her eyes, the simple act taking more effort than it should.

She shifted enough to look down and immediately felt a massive swell of relief flood through her.

Kili was sitting in a chair next to her bed. He was leaning forward, his upper body on the bed beside her, sound asleep. One arm was thrown across her legs while his other hand was on top of hers where it rested on the bed, their fingers intertwined.

She could see a vicious gash running from the top of his forehead, diagonally across his eye and ending on his nose. It looked like the blow had missed his eye, for which she was profoundly grateful. She didn’t know if losing an eye would affect his archery abilities or not but was glad he wouldn’t have to find out.

A look to her other side revealed Fili, sound asleep in a cot next to her. He had bandages wrapped around his torso and one arm was in a sling but, aside from being pale, looked as though he were sleeping comfortably.

They were in a really large tent. Dimly she could hear voices from outside the tent but, aside from that, it was quiet.

She tightened her grip on Kili’s hand and his eyes snapped open.

“Bilba.” He scrambled up and sat gingerly on the bed beside her, barely jostling her. He put one arm on the other side of her body and leaned over her, gently brushing hair off her forehead and the large bandage she could feel there.

She reached an arm up and draped it around his neck, urging him down. He was more than willing to come, kissing her for several long minutes before pulling away again.

“I thought you were dead,” he said, his voice shaky. “I saw the tower come down and then I couldn’t find you.” He let out a breath, “And then there were so many orcs and Fili was cut off and I almost lost _him_ and I kept being driven farther and farther away from you.”

“It’s alright,” Bilba said softly, shifting to trace her hand along his face. “I’m okay.”

“Everyone is,” Kili said, “thank Mahal. Ori has a broken leg and Dwalin got a nasty wound in his leg but the healers think he’ll recover without any lasting effects.” He gave her a rueful grin and reached up to put his hand over hers on his face. “Unlike me. I’m going to have a nice permanent souvenir it looks like.”

“Well," Bilba whispered, her voice slurred from fatigue, "nobody's perfect."

Kili laughed and Bilba smiled back weakly.

She liked it when he laughed.

“So,” she said, with a tired smile, “everyone lived and I got the prince?”

Kili’s smiled broadened, if that was even possible. “That you did. And,” he continued, looking pleased, “I’m pretty sure Uncle still has some groveling left to do, so you have that to look forward to as well.”

Bilba shut her eyes, relaxing into the bed again. She felt Kili shifting again, going back to the chair. He picked up her hand again and she squeezed it. "So everything is okay now?"

"it is," Kili assured her. "Go ahead and get some rest. I'll still be here when you wake up."

Bilba obeyed, keeping a grip on his hand as she did.

As she drifted off she thought that perhaps leaving her home all those months ago to get repeatedly captured and nearly eaten hadn’t been such a bad idea after all.

Kili's voice permeated her subconscious. “Is there anything you need?”

“Just you,” Bilba responded, half asleep. “For the rest of my life if you don’t mind.”

He laughed. “That,” he said, “I think I can do.”

And, that, is precisely what he did.

The End

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The smile that started it all: https://31.media.tumblr.com/e4abd06655cdc65ed1006897ce893533/tumblr_mgfbacoXYQ1s23ojno1_500.png

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Wishing Fruit](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3855781) by [Rosa_Cotton](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosa_Cotton/pseuds/Rosa_Cotton)




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